


When We Were Us

by BneJovi, LadyXandria



Category: Bon Jovi (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, Angst, BDSM, Bondage, Caning, Dom/sub, Dominant Masochism, Drinking, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Heavy BDSM, Knifeplay, M/M, Male Slash, Masochism, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Oral Sex, Paparazzi, Passion, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Sauna, Sex, Slash, Smut, Spanking, Submission, Verbal Humiliation, dominant david bryan, submissive jon bon jovi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-07-24 15:51:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16178279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BneJovi/pseuds/BneJovi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyXandria/pseuds/LadyXandria
Summary: (David's POV)Tomorrow's unknown, but today is our own. So take my hand, hold on with no fear.





	1. Chapter 1

***~*Jon’s POV: June 8, 2013*~***

_ “You have got to be kidding me?!” _

_ “Richie cancelled his flight from Hawaii,” Paul says in the receiver. _

_ My head drops into my hands and I blow through my teeth. “Fuck...We have a concert TONIGHT! The fuck you mean Richie cancelled his flight?!?!”  _

_ I look up as a knock came at my door and I tear it open angrily, David standing there in a black t-shirt and ripped jeans. He only has to look at my face, no need to ask the question. He follows me back in and sits on the sofa across from my bed. _

_ “He didn’t…” _

_ “Yeah, he fucking did. Fuck are we gonna do, Lema?!” I pace the room and grab a wine bottle.  _

_ He takes it from me and grabs my shoulders. “We’re gonna be on fuckin’ point like we are every night. You, me and Tico are not letting this fuckwit slow us down. Call Phil and have him hop a red eye. We’re gonna get this done, Cap.”  _

_ I’m able to take a painful breath as David makes a few calls. I send a text to Richie. Maybe he’ll afford me an explanation on a personal level... _

I drain my wine glass and flip through the TV channels. It’s 2am. I can’t sleep but the band members are sleeping like little fucking babies. Goddamnit I envy them. My head pulsates and anxiety rises from our concert earlier. You try playing for 10,000 screaming maniacs and see how you handle it. 

My finger smashes the power button and I toss the remote on the table. Night time is bitch. Gives you too much time to think. David’s suite is next to mine and I listen to his light snoring. It’s almost as rhythmic as his playing. 

I had turned down his offer for a midnight bitch session, now I wish I hadn’t. Even if it was him complaining about his kids, it would beat being alone. I glare down at the setlists for the next three concerts in Lema’s awful handwriting and flip through them.

_ ‘There’s no wind and there’s no rain in the eye of a hurricane’  _ is scribbled at the top of a page. He chose some oldies and goodies. Leave it to him to know our music catalog inside and out.

“Sure know how to hit the nail on the head,” I chuckle to myself. He’s been my best friend since we were 16 and playing in Asbury Park for chump change. I can clearly remember the young David Rashbaum in the basement doing his homework between sets.

The friendship had been a natural thing and he was the person I could always go to. When we got a record deal, he was the first one I called. When Slippery went number 1, we stayed up and drank in celebration. When Dorothea divorced me, he was the one there and let me stay at his place.

This wasn’t an easy feat considering he and April had newborn twins, but I got some quality Uncle Johnny time. Then the day came that April left him. Their divorce was bitter and I was there for him. I listened to him cry and bitch, or just pass out drunk on my bed.

It was only within the last two weeks that I found my thoughts shifting. I’d catch myself glancing over at David, or watching him walk up the steps. Especially in his tight leather pants…

I shift on the couch and find myself getting hard thinking of David in those pants. And without them. And in the shower...gloriously wet in the shower. My hand squeezes at my dick impulsively. I look over to the door that separates us. 

_ ‘Maybe he’ll like it…’ _

_ ‘What if he doesn’t?’ _

_ ‘He will.’ _

_ ‘David is straight…’ _

_ ‘Maybe he’s bisexual?’ _

I shake the internal voices from my hand and stand, walking towards the door and creeping it open slowly.  _ ‘Fuck what am I doing?’ _

His room is dark and I hold my breath as I latch the door. My eyes adjust to the dark and I see his form in the king size bed. The sheets are tangled around his waist, one arm flung over his head and the other resting next to him.

This isn’t the first time I’ve snuck in just to watch him. I know that sounds weird but we’ve had weirder situations. Trust me. There’s something so peaceful about David and, no matter how I try to convince myself otherwise, attractive.

David is carelessly handsome. He doesn’t ask people how he looks, if his hair is set just so, or how white his teeth are. Unlike Richie who would not leave the room until he looked perfect. That just isn’t David. I brace myself as he jostles in his sleep, letting a small whimper.

I wait for his breathing to even back out. When it does, I push my shorts to the floor and tip toe across to the bed. Ever so gently I pull the sheets down enough to slip under them. The bed is warm from his body heat and I smile, scooting closer.

He smells faintly of his favorite cologne and natural musk. I close my eyes and inhale, biting my lip and holding back a moan. David whimpers again.  _ ‘What are you afraid of? Rejection?’  _ Well yeah, I answer my own silent question. 

David had never let on being anything but straight, but something inside me just needs to be close to him. I need to know he’s right there. My rock to lean on when things get tough. When Richie left the band and me, my life was torn apart.

Not only did I lose a trusted bandmate and songwriter, but I lost my lover. He hasn’t texted or called. No emails. Nothing.

I open my eyes and gasp. David is looking straight at me, his bright blue eyes unblinking. “Jon,” he whispers. “The fuck you doing in here, man. It’s…” He glances at the clock. “Fuck man it’s 2:30. Wha...what you doin’ in my bed?”

He was confused and attempting to piece things together still half asleep.  _ Oh god, his breath is warm.  _ “I-I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep,” I reply.

“Ya need somethin’? I got Valium in my bag and Fireball on ice,” he offered. 

“Do...do you think you could...well...maybe just...hold me?” My voice comes out meek, like a child asking for a cookie.

There was a moment of silence, his chest silhouette rising against the moonlit curtains. “Um...sure, man,” he finally relents and lifts his arm.

I slide to him and curl up, smiling as I find him fully naked. Not the way Richie would hold me, but the touch was uniquely his. “Thanks, Lema. You’re the best.”

“You’re welcome, Johnny. Now go to sleep,” he says. I bury my nose into him and feel intoxicated. My hand slides across his belly, fingertips tracing the hair. I’ve never done this to him and his muscles clench. “Jon quit playing around.”

His voice is thick and gruff and I feel myself getting excited. I press my palm to his navel and slide it downward, curling my fingers into his soft pubic hair. He lets out a sharp breath and pulls my hand away. “You don’t like me touching you?” I ask softly.

“Jon, you’re drunk. I can smell it. I know you’ve been depressed without Richie but--”

“But what? Please. Just let me?” I don’t wait for his response and reach under the blanket once more, feeling those curls. He gasps as my fingers find his cock, stroking from base to tip. David makes no further attempt to move and I lean up on my elbow. 

For a white Jewish man his cock was positively mouth watering. His breath hitched as I gently twisted the head. I push the bedsheet down to expose him, stroking the length to its full seven-inch hardness. “Why me, Johnny?”

I whimper and dip my head. Our lips meet. He’s looking up at me and licks his lips. “You’re the only one that knows me well enough. The only one I can trust. I don’t wanna be alone,” I confess with a quiet whimper. 

Neither of us move to turn on the light. No reason too. He rolls on top of me and I sigh as his lips attach to my neck. His tongue trails over my feverish skin and he lays gently kisses down my shoulder. Pre-cum drools from his cock and onto my hand. “What do you need, baby?” He growls. 

“This…” I stroke him up and down firmly, hearing him fumble around with some loose items. He moans in the darkness as a cool liquid pours over my hand and down his length. 

“All fours. Now.” I fight not to come and scramble onto my hands and knees. He rises behind me and I moan as he spits on my ass hole. “You sure?”

“Yes.” I cry out as he pushes against the tight muscles, the blunt head of his cock lighting my nerve endings on fire. “Oh fuck, yes…” His cock invades my body and I feel it ripping me apart. He brushes the small bundle of nerves and I shiver. I feel him pull out to the tip and cool liquid subdues the raging fire.

David groans and plunges back in hard. My back arches and I spread my legs wider. He holds my hips and pounds my desperate ass, his balls slapping into mine and making a pleasant sound. “Jesus, Johnny. You’re fuckin’ tight,” he growls, pulling my hair with a firm hand.

“Fuck that ass, Lema. Goddamnit fuck it harder!” I yell out and his hand slaps over my mouth, silencing me. 

He pulls me back to him and nips my ear. “If you want me to fuck you, you’ll call me Daddy. Understand?” I nod my head furiously and whimper as his hand spanks my ass, something I haven’t had since Richie. “That’s a good boy. My good little Johnny.”

David pulls his hand away and lets me fall back to my hands. “Shit, Daddy. Please gimme that cock, Daddy. Fill my ass up, please…” My body writhes in pleasure as he fucks me, holding onto my hips. His cock thickens as I clench around him and I feel his hot seed spill deep into my body.

I grasp onto his arm as he lifts me and wraps his hand around my aching dick, jacking it fast enough to make my toes curl. It doesn’t long between his hand and lips at my neck to make me cry out, my cum shooting hard from the tip and my body shuddering.

His hand milks my cock until it’s spent and he lets me drop limply onto the bedspread. He hovers over and kisses me, his tongue swirling around my mouth. “Is that what you were wanting?” He asks me.

My breathing is uneven and shallow. I respond with another kiss. “Yes, Daddy.”

I feel the bed move and he picks me up into his arms. We both squint from the light on my room and he lays me on my own bed. It feels cold after his. David wets a washcloth and cleans up my body. I look up and see his face for the first time. “Sleep well, Johnny,” he whispers and kisses me once more.

He pulls the sheet up to my chest and shuts the lights, disappearing back into his room. “Goodnight, DB.”  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

***~*David’s POV: June 9, 2013*~***

Ugh, what did I do last night? How could I be so stupid? I could have just sent Jon back to his room, but no...I just HAD to give in to what he was offering. Fuck, what kind of friend am I?

I can hear Tico’s voice in the back of my head.  _ I trained you better than this; to keep your emotions out of it. What kind of Dominant are you if you can’t control yourself? _ He’d be right. Tico was who I needed to talk to. Jon’s too attached. Or am I that arrogant?

The sun is relentless and prods me until I roll out of bed and pull on my favorite plaid lounge pants. Yeah yeah, call me old. Those fuckers are comfy. I stuff my room key into the pocket and peek out. The hallway is empty as I hurry to Tico’s door and knock. 

“David?” Tico answers the door, surprised to see me so early, “What’s happening, man?”

My eyes gave him a quick once-over, taking note of his dark chest hair and muscled arms. Up to his tousled hair. Fuck, he still makes me feel like a naughty schoolboy. “Sorry it’s early, but I need your help...advice and you’re the only one I can come to about this particular situation.”

Nice way of saying,  _ Hey you fuck me in the ass so I’m coming to you with all my shit. _

Tico studied my face closely, frowning slightly before standing aside to silently let me in through the door.  He closed it quietly, deliberately, the sound of the lock clicking into place was loud in the silence.

I walk over to the sofa and kneel in front of it, waiting for him to sit above me. “Tell me,” Tico said simply.

A small sigh escapes my lips. “I--I got myself into something and not sure how to handle it. I’m confused, Sir.” Boy I haven’t called him that for a while. The word left a sweet taste on my tongue. “With Jon. He came into my room last night.”

“Oh?” he says and steeples his fingers beneath his chin, “You’re not telling me the whole story, are you, my pet?  Continue.”

“I tried to...I don’t know…stop?” Tico’s hand came down hard on my cheek. “I fucked him, Sir. I fucked Jon.”

“That’s a good boy. It wasn’t that hard to just say you fucked him, was it now?” His fingers caress the pinkness from the impact and I lean into that touch. “What did Jon do?”

I swallow hard and remember the delicious thoughts. “He asked me to hold him. His hand kinda trailed down my chest and stomach. Before I know it, he’s holding my cock and begging me to fuck him.” I shake my head. “And I fucked the shit out of him until he collapsed on the bed.”

“And how did that make you feel, my pet?” Tico asks.

“Powerful...yet I woke up this morning feeling guilty.” There was a tugging in my groin and I move my hands over to try and hide it.

Tico smirks down at me. “Stand up.” I do as he commands and stand in front of him.  Tico curls his fingers into the soft fleece of my pants and yanks them to my ankles. “Did you like fucking Jon?  Did you do it how I used to fuck you, my pet?”

“Yes, Sir. Buried my cock in his ass until he was screaming and writhing under me,” I respond and gasp as his hand smacks the underside of my erection.

“And is that why you came to me this morning? Do you want that again?” Tico asks with a snarl, “Or are you looking for my approval for taking on a new lover?”

Fuck Tico was full of questions. Should have known he’d ask. “Both, Sir. I need to know how you can so easily do it without feelings and emotions getting in the way.”

“Who says they don’t get in the way, my pet?” he replies and walks slowly around me, “You just need to learn how to compartmentalize them.  Who’s emotions and feelings exactly, are we talking about?”

I squeeze my eyes shut and mutter, “Mine. Jon’s been my brother for 35 years. Obviously, I love him in some capacity, but I can’t take getting emotionally involved in another person. I can’t.” My long curls hung in curtains around my face as my head bows. 

Tico’s feet stop in front of me and my heart pounds.  He grips my chin hard and forces me to look at him. “Then you need to be honest with Jon, my pet.”  He rears back and I feel the sting of his palm against my cheek as stars explode behind my eyelids. “Now,” he turns from me, “what do you think you deserve for your indiscretion?”

“Master’s pet deserves to feel Master’s cane for being unable to control his emotions,” I breathe out and my cock twitches in agreement.

With a move faster than lightning, he grabs a fistful of my hair, drags me to the table and pushes me down onto the cold, hard wood. “Stay!”

I listen to him unzip his bag and shift several items around. Several drops of pre-cum drools from my cock head and down my thighs. I miss the anticipation and jump when a loud crack rings out near my ear. “Is this what you want, my pet?”

“Yes, Master. Please, Master,” I beg and wiggle my ass for him.

The thin wood taps against my sensitive flesh, warming it up to get the blood flowing. With the first crack, I jump and inhale sharply. Two...Three...Four...I’m fighting to keep my breathing even. The fifth crack makes me rock forward onto my toes and my fingers curl.

“Have you become soft over time, pet?” 

“No, Master,” I reply, shaking my head vigorously.

“Let’s see, shall we?” The wood whistles through the air and hits with more force. My knees nearly give out and I whimper. “Looks like my perfect pet has become a pathetic pussy.” 

Harder and harder he whips me and my eyes roll back into my head. I feel my ass stressing under the abuse, but I moan to urge him on. “Your pet can take it, Master.”

“Is this what you wanna do with Jon? Do you wanna see him beg for you to hurt him?” _ Crack _

“Yes, Master.” 

“Do you want him to call you Master and obey you?”  _ Crack _

“Oh god yes, Master.”

_ Crack...Crack...Crack... _

“Do you want to see him break like you’re going to?”  _ Crack _

“Fuck...Yes, Master.” My cock was throbbing for a desperate release.

“Louder! I didn’t hear you.”

“Yes, Master,” I say a little louder and my voice cracks. My balls tighten as each impact makes me shake.

"Your ass will always belong to me. You're nothing without me, you pathetic…”  _ Crack _ “...little...”  _ Crack _ “...Jew."  _ Crack...Crack _

The pain overwhelms my body. I grunt as my cock pulsates and white cum streams onto the table and floor. “Master...yes Master,” I moan in a mantra rhythm. He tosses the cane to the floor and yanks me by the hair.

“On your knees, slut. Maybe you’ll learn something,” Tico growls and I obey, dropping to my knees. He pulls his shorts down enough for his cock to spring out and rubs it over my lips. “Suck it, my pet.”

I slide my tongue along the large vein and work up the saliva. Tico holds my curls and forces himself into my throat. He knows I can handle it. Always could. I close my lips and let him fuck my mouth at his will.

“My little faggot loves sucking his Master’s cock, doesn’t he?” He pulls me back and moans at the string of saliva joining us.

“Yes, Master. I love sucking Master. Thank you for letting me please you, Master,” I groan before bobbing my head along the shaft. It swishes around and I make a delicious slurping noise. 

“That’s it, my pet. Faster. I want you to choose my cock over breathing. Good boy,” Tico groaned. “Make your Master proud.” I suck back and clench my throat. He pushes my nose into his dark hair and I inhale his scent as his cock thickens.

I hum happily as his cum pours into me and I lick up every drop. “Thank you, Master,” and I look up at him with content. He sends me to clean up and is pouring another cup of coffee when I return, free of sweat and fresh breath.

He meets me and gives me a sweet kiss.  “Do you feel clearer about it all?”

“I do and I know what I have to do. How do you always know what I need?”

“Fifteen years as your lover and 31 as your brother, I’ve learned a thing or two,” he responds and hands me my fallen pants. “Probably know you better than Lexi or April did.”

I pull on my pants and give him a hug. “You’ve always been the best.” I was nearly at the door when Tico said something that rang in my head.

“A dominant will always have feelings for their submissive.”  Tico opened the door for me and I cross the threshold into the hallway.  “Better to embrace it than fight it.” I turned back to question him, but the door was already closed.

“Lema?” I froze at the gentle behind me and mouthed ‘ _ Fuck’  _ to myself. 

I spin around and gave Jon a cheerful smile. “Morning, Jon.”  _ Shit was that too cheerful? _

“Whatcha doing with T?” he asked, a quizzical look brushed over his face.

My eyes slid to the closed door and back to Jon. “Advice. He’s an old man. Needed help with...an accordion part…”  _ An accordion part? Really? You’re the only geek that would ever pick up that instrument in a rock band. _

“Huh? Wouldn’t have thought Teek could help you with that?” Jon shook his head in confusion.

“He’s full of tricks and surprises,” I respond and start towards my room.

“So, um- about last night,” Jon hedged near the door.

I slid the key in the lock and push the door open. “What about it?”

“Can I come inside? Please?” Jon grins at me.

_ Fuck, Rashbaum, don’t do it. Don’t fucking do it. _ “Sure. Yeah, no problem.” I stood aside to let Jon into the room, his fingers gingerly trailing across my chest tattoo.  _ You fucking idiot.  _

“So last night was amazing,” Jon says as he wanders to the bed.  He slides onto the rumpled sheets and lays back, propping himself up with his elbows, legs splayed and dangling over the edge.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” I reply, turning on the coffee maker and ignoring the twisting in my stomach. He looks beautiful and his invitation couldn’t be any more obvious.  _ Control yourself. Remember Tico’s control. _ “Coffee?” My inner Joker snorts and doubles over in laughter.

“Hmm...maybe with a little cream?” he shrugs.

I look over at him and smirk, propping a hand on my hip. “You never take cream in your coffee.”

“Did I say I wanted it in my coffee?” Jon’s hand slides to his dick and squeezes.

“Jon,” I said, beelining and supporting my arms on either side of his head. “What happened last night shouldn’t have. Not with the emotional state you’ve been in.” Hell, I even surprise myself with the steadiness of my voice.

“The fuck with my emotional state!  It has nothing to do with it,” he replies taken aback.

“You wouldn’t have come in here if Richie were still around, would you?”  _ Oh, here we go. Nice job, asshole. _

“Leave him outta this!” Jon spits as he tries to stand up, any possible escape off the bed blocked by my arms.

My jaw tightens and I lift my hand, bringing it down swiftly against his cheek. “Answer me, pup.”

“Fuck you D!” Jon snarled rubbing at his cheek.

“I said,” my hand slaps him again. “Answer me. Answer me like a fucking man or I’ll treat you like a little bitch.”

“No! No, I probably wouldn’t have come to you if he were here!” Jon yells, hurt and angry, “Ya happy now?!”

I smirk down at him and run the back of my fingers over the sting marks. “Kneel on the bed.” I straighten up to allow him enough room to move.

“What the hell for?” He retorts.

“If you want me and you want me to fuck you, you’ll kneel and listen.”

Jon searches my face for a moment, then slowly moves as he was told to do.  His face betrays him and shows the heartache of remembering Richie.

I let out a long breath and turn off the coffee making, slowly stirring in the sugar and creamer. “Rule one: I don’t make love...I fuck.” My words came out as a snarl. “Hard.”  

Jon couldn’t control the shudder of desire that ran through him at the way David said it. His eyes flutter closed briefly and a breathy sigh escapes his lips.

“I don’t do romantic relationships anymore,” I say, sipping at the delicious coffee. “Rule Two: When we’re alone, you will only address me as Sir. Not Lema, DB, Dave or David. Understand?”

“Ye- yes, Sir,” Jon breathes.

I took another long sip and set the mug down. “Rule Three: When waiting for me or in my presence, you’ll always be naked and kneeling with her head bowed. Hands palm up on your thighs and you do not speak until spoken to. Understand?”

Jon clears his throat slightly before answering, “Yes, Sir.” 

“Final rule is you’ll be at my disposal. When I want to fuck you, I’ll fuck you. When I want you to suck me, you’ll get on your knees and give me that pretty little mouth.” I stroke his chin and slap him. “You’re mine to use. Understand?”

“Oh god,” Jon murmurs under his breath, “Yes, yes please, Sir.”

I smile and trace my thumb over his bottom lip. “Such beautiful lips. I can’t wait to see them kiss swollen and whimpering for me...begging for release.” I lean in and capture that lip in mine, suckling at it and pulling at Jon’s hair.

Jon whimpers under the assault on his mouth.  He’s suddenly released, his head spinning. Something catches his eye on my hip, just on the edge of the waistband, as I straighten.  “What’s that?” he asks and reaches out to touch the area.

“Don’t worry about it,” I reply, catching his hand and moving out of his reach.

Jon crawls off the bed as I walk to my coffee. “No, let me see.  I need to know if you need medical assistance.” I wasn’t quick enough and he pulls my pants away from my body.

“Jon...come on…” It’s no use. He sees the bruises from the table earlier. “I bumped my keyboards.”

“You know that set up better than anyone and you know how to move around it.” His fingers trace over the black and purple marks.

I try to ignore his eyes and drink my coffee. “I’m also accident prone, remember?”

“Not that much!  Is there any more?” He asks and yanks the fabric down, exposing the brutal bloodied marks that cover my ass and upper thigh. “What the fuck?!”

“Jon…”

“No! Tell me!” Jon grabs and spins me around to face him.  “Who the hell did that?”

My eyes closed and all I want is to be anywhere but here. “If I tell you who, you can’t freak out or overreact.” Jon nods. “Tico. He...I asked him too.” I pull away and sit on the bed, wincing at the contact. “I’ve been his masochistic submissive for years. Since my divorce from Lexi, I took on the Dominant role as well.”

“Ti- Tico did that to you?” Jon gasps, “I mean... I know he can be a mean fucker, but…”

“This is nothing. I’ve gotten worse where I can’t get out of bed.”

“Show me?” Jon asks softly, “Show me again.”

His request made me do a double take. “Just...be careful.” I stand and turn around with a sigh, waiting for his response.

“Okay. I promise.” Jon curls a finger into the waistband and gently pulls my pants all the way down, folding and placing them on the dresser.  He hisses out a sympathetic breath. “Do you want me to get a first aid kit from Matt or Dean?”

I shake my head and point to the table by the window. “There’s one in my carry on, always is. It’s a black and red bag.”

Jon pokes around in my suitcase before coming back with my aftercare bag. I try to open it and grab the products I need, but he stops me. “Please, Sir...Let me,” Jon says. He gets to his knees and lays out the products on the floor.

“Shit,” I hiss as he washes the wounds with saline solution and a soft cloth. 

“I’m sorry, Sir,” Jon murmurs, his attention on the most severe of the wounds.

I look in the wall mirror and see him behind me. His face twists with lines of pain and I sigh in relief as he spreads a thin layer of arnica gel. “Johnny, how do you know what to use?”

“Richie...he and I..,” he starts to say but can’t continue, swallowing heavily around a lump that had formed in the back of this throat.

“Of course. You didn’t just lose a band member or lover...you lost your Master, didn’t you?”

“Yeah…” Jon nods.  He seems to be fighting with himself before physically shaking himself free of the memories.

We both are silent for a few minutes. Jon finishes and packs the products back in the bag. I lean on the dresser and stare at his bowed form in the mirror. “Did you want me to be your Dominant, Johnny?” I look over at him and smile. “Is that why you came to me last night?”

“I- I didn’t- yes, yes I think so.  I didn’t really think too hard about it.  Just something made me come to you.” Jon replies and inclines to his head upward.  “Will you? Please, Sir?”

“On two conditions…”

“Anything.”  Jon bows his head and waits.

I turn to face him fully and whisper, “First tell me your safe word...and two…” I tilt his head to meet my eyes. “You’ll allow me to bend you over that bed and fuck you until you forget Richie’s name.”

A small sob broke from Jon’s lips and his eyes close briefly.  He opens them again, clear and certain of the future, and said, “My safe word is Prayer, Sir.”

“And mine is Memphis. Now stand up, take off your shorts and bend over the bed for your Master.” I watch as he gets to his feet and shucks off his boxers. He bends at the waist. “Spread your legs,” and he obeys. “That’s my good pup.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Had a great time writing this with BneJovi, especially the part with David and the evil/good sides of his conscience. Think of a blonde devil sitting on one shoulder with a pitchfork and a blonde angel with a yarmulka and halo on the other.**

***~*Jon’s POV: July 2013*~***

“Ah...Ahhh yes, sir…” My cries echo through the hallway. “I’m Master’s dirty slut…”  _ WHACK _ ! “Ahh, fucking shit!”

“Wrong,” David’s low raspy voice groans in my ear. “Try again.”  _ WHACK _ ! My shoulders lift and my back arches, breath catching in my throat.

“Oh god, thank you, Master. May I please have another?” I respond.

He chuckles behind me and the braided leather tails of his flogger sting on my back and tingles that spread over my skin in vibrating waves.  _ WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!  _ At the end of each tail were sharp tips, tiny teeth made of hard leather. 

“You’re getting red, pup. Are you gonna cry and plead like you did last night?” David asks in a mocking whine.

My thighs were quivering and felt like they’d been set on fire. The sting was unlike anything I’d gotten from Richie. “No, Master. I wish Master to do with me as Master sees fit,” I moan.

His hands grab my hair and yank my head back. “Cry again and I’ll toss your pathetic, worthless cock from my room.” WHACK! “Or worse…” WHACK! “I’ll stop touching you. I’ll stop…” WHACK! “...giving the pain you beg for.”

“Yes, Master,” I breath out.

He strikes me four times with intensity heightening. After one, in particular, I jerk in my cuffs and the chain pulls at my attached anal plug. I whimper. “Does it hurt?” He asks me, a note of amusement in those words.

“Yes, Master,” I reply and my cock twitches. “May I please have more?”

“Good boy,” was all David said and picks up a metal whip that lay beside me. The sound of electricity makes me jump and I groan as the chains dance over and shock my skin. I concentrate on the electric jolts, the way it flows through my veins.

“Fuck, Master...Ahhh! Mmmm yes, Master,” I say, ass swaying left then right. The violet wands chain sends me up to my toes, back arching. He pulls it away and I slump over, continuing this rhythm. David chuckles when he touches the chain to the metal plug and the sensation makes me squeal like a little bitch.

My eyes widen as the chains whip through the air, whistling and striking my ass. “Very good, pup, very good indeed,” David growls.

I know I’m bleeding as the coppery smell hits my nostrils. “Fuck! Yes, Master!” His fingers draw down my back then are smeared over my mouth. 

“I’ve only saved the best for last, pup,” he says and I jump when he shows me a shiny scalpel. “Keep real still, pup. This will hurt but oh how it will please me.” I scream as the blade cuts into my right ass cheek and I bury my head into the bedspread.

I hear a metal cling behind me and his warm hands removing my cuffs and plug. “Thank you, Sir.”

David helps me stand up and work the kinks out in my back. “You’re such a good boy, Johnny,” he says and kisses me with a gentleness only he has. “Lay down on your stomach and I’ll clean you up.” I do as he says and lay across the bed, pulling a pillow under my head.

I watch his beautiful ass cross to his luggage. He grabs his aftercare bag and two bottles of water, handing one to me and sits on the bed. His hands are soft as he washes the blood off first then spreads a liberal amount of peroxide over the shallow cuts first. “Ow,” I mutter and he kisses my cheek.

“Just relax. I’m so proud of you, Johnny. How are you feeling?” David asks me, all trace of Master gone from his voice, as he rubs the soothing arnica gel over my back.

“A little shaky and light-headed,” I reply, drinking deeply from the water bottle. I feel him cleaning the wounds on my ass. The only two that required more care were the ‘D’ and ‘B’ he’d cut into me. David had been hesitant when I asked for this but understood it was something I really wanted.

Besides, we’ve been play partners for a month now and I wanted a part of him with me.  The sex and play have been amazing, mind-blowing really, but….there was something I was missing and craving for at this moment.  

He must have noticed my furrowed brows because he smooths my hair and kisses my cheek. “Are you fully satisfied, Johnny? I’m getting a feeling you’re holding something back from me,” David says and finishes attending to my wounds, laying on his back across the luxurious bedspread.

Head to toe he was gorgeous. His curls stuck to his face, laden with sweat. From chest to belly he was glistening in the lamplight, and he lifted his arm to me. His signal for me to curl up as part of my aftercare.

Slowly I slide over and rest my head on his arm. I fidget with his dark chest hair as I hesitate with my answer.  I know he doesn’t want an emotional relationship but I miss the intimacy of that; that Richie and I shared. I feel like I need a softer, gentler situation occasionally.  A heavy sigh escaped before I could chase it down.

“Johnny?” David’s voice urges, his fingers caressing my cheek. “What is it? I’m here to listen.”

“It’s...I just…, damn it,” I stutter softly, “Can we ah...make love sometime?”  

David rubs his temple and I see the crease in his eyebrow.  _ Fuck, _ I thought. “Jon,” he says and I lose my breath when he says my name. “I...I haven’t ‘made love’ to someone for years…”

“I..I get that, but I was hoping … just maybe...we could...negotiate that,” I say in a low whisper. “You never stated it was a hard limit…”

I watch as David’s lips open and close then open once again like a fish out of water. “Jon...I...I think...I think you should go back to your suite now,” he says and my heart drops. He stands from the bed and my hand grabs for him but I miss. I watch him walk to the window and stare out into the night, his arms crossed, a shoulder leaning on the frame.

“Sir, please, just hear me out,” I beg.

“I said go back to your room, pup,” he commands without turning to me. “I’ll be in touch when I need to fuck you again.”

_ Fuck! I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,  _ I think as I pull my sweats up,  _ I don’t want to be alone tonight. _  I walk over to him and kiss his shoulder, “Goodnight Sir.”  I leave the suite quietly and make my way to my own suite, cursing myself with each step.

  
  


**\--David--**

_ Fuck...fuck...fuck! Goddamnit, why did he have to ask? _ I thought, the rabbit in my head running in circles.  _ Could have just finished his aftercare and gone to sleep. But he just had to pull out this romance shit. _

I ring my fingers through my messy curls, watching lightning bolts dance across the night sky. “Fuck, Jon.” It came as more of a whimper and I hate that. The rules had been simple ones but humanity is a cruel fucking mistress. She’ll knock you on your ass when you least expect it.

Or a cock blocker. Maybe a little. What’s wrong with wanting to just casually fuck and whip your bandmate and best friend? Why can’t romance shit stay out of it? 

_ Because it’s human nature, bozo,  _ I hear a devilish voice in my head say.  _ You just prefer to hide it. _

“...just because romance has screwed me over…” I answer aloud, pushing away from the window and staring at the rumpled sheets. 

_ That doesn’t mean Jon will do the same thing,  _ a second more angelic voice pipes in.

“I can’t risk it.” I pick up the various toys and bring them to wash in the bathroom sink.

_ Just stick to what you know. Smack and whip his ass, call him a dirty whore…  _

“But obviously he’s wanting more than I can provide.” I soap up the metal anal plug and chains, washing it thoroughly and dried it.

_ It won’t hurt to treat him once and awhile. You know how to be romantic and charming. _

“Then what do I do?” Next, I clean my blades, staring for a moment at the drops of Jon’s blood.

_ Spit on his asshole and fuck him until he forgets _

I roll my eyes at the evil voices suggestion. “Not exactly what I was thinking…”

_ How did you show Tico that romantic appreciation, whether you did it consciously or not? _

My lips purse at the thought. Tico never did ask for romantic gestures as much as devotion. “Oh...yeah… I guess I can do that much…”

_ Pussy,  _ the devil side spits.

“Asshole!”

Then Tico’s voice intruded his mind and growled,  _ “Now that’s my good little submissive.” _

“Jesus T, not you too?!”

_ Now it’s a party!  _ The angel cheers and claps his hands.

“So do any of you fuckers have a plan?”

Devil: …...

Angel: ……

Tico: …..

“Thought so! Good! I can forget about all of this now.” I take all the clean toys and pack them back into my play bag, but then Tico’s voice intrudes my thoughts once more.

_ Jon always uses the sauna after each concert. You know this from either going with him or peeking in to watch. _

“Shut the fuck up T! You had to remind me of that, didn’t you?” I jump when the phone rings and pick it up, hitting the answer button. “T...uh yeah...no I was just talking to myself. Yes again...No I wasn’t yelling at you...No it was...a game show...on TV. Dumb fuck got the answer wrong. Hey wait...has Jon by chance used the sauna here? You did? How long ago? T, I need to go. Yeah, talk later.”

I hang up on Tico and quickly dial to the spa. “Four Seasons Spa, how may I assist you?” The cool female voice purred.

“Lema Moon, Room 908. Could I book the sauna out completely?”

“For this evening, sir?”

“Yes...the entire evening,” I reply.

“We currently have a guest in one of the booths…”

“He’s with me...And could you all bring in extra towels?”

“Of course, sir.  Would you like some chilled sparkling water as well?”

“That would be great,” I respond with a wide grin.

“That will be taken care of, sir, and added to your room charges.  Will there be anything else?”

I stopped for a moment then spoke once more, “Some stemless strawberries and a variety of massage oils.”

“That can be arranged and will be waiting upon your arrival. Have a great night, Mr. Moon.”

_ Finally, now the fun can start! Which flogger will be you bringing?? _

“None…”

_ Pussy _ .

“You know, I’m getting tired of you.”

_ Feelings mutual, buddy. _

“Time to fuck off now, fucker.” The tiny devil poked my brain with his pitchfork, gave me the finger and disappeared. 

_ About time he left, _ the angel straightens his yarmulka. 

“Same for you.” 

_ Leh lehizdayen!  _ The angel gave me the finger as well and disappeared. Pretty bad when even your conscience tells you to fuck yourself. I pull on a pair of shorts with a t-shirt, grab a towel and room key, and step into the hallway. I take in a deep breath and walk towards the elevators.

“There goes my good little submissive,” Tico’s voice comes from behind me. I look back but he’s already closing his suite door. The elevator door dings and  I shake my head. 

_ It’s now or never, _ I thought.

_ I ain’t gonna live forever, _ the little devil pops his head back in.  _ Miss me? _

"I said fuck off, Joker!"


	4. Chapter 4

Jon checked in at the front desk of the sauna.  He signed in and was allocated a spar robe and locker to store his clothes and room key.  He stripped and put the robe on, grabbed a bottle of water and made his way to the sauna booth beside the large hot tub.  

He was thankful for the privacy of the booth since he knew he’d be marked and raw from the scene with David earlier.  He slipped the robe off and hung it on a hook and set the controls for heat settings and times. 

The temperature in the booth started to increase immediately and a burst of heated steam started filling the space.  Jon grabbed his water and spread a spa towel down on the cushioned surface and laid down on his stomach. His gaze strayed to the bubbling water of the hot tub, mesmerizing him into a light sleep.

David slipped into the sauna area and saw the tray of strawberries and grapes on one of the tables. The temperature had been warmed up and the large hot tub jets were running. He locked the door behind him and tossed his towel onto one of the benches.

He could see Jon resting in one of the booths and his mouth hanging open. Jon always could power nap anywhere and everywhere. David chuckled to himself and breathed in deep. The cool tiling made him shiver and he slid the booth door open then shut it softly, reaching over and changing the color of the lights to a soft blue.

“Jon?”

“Hmmph.”  David smiled and walked over to Jon, hovering above him and opening one of the bottles he held of chilled sparkling water. Ever so gently, David inclined the bottle and allowed the water to drizzle down Jon’s back.

“What the fuck!!!” Jon woke with a gasp and arched away from the chill down his spine.  He heard a devious chuckle from behind him.

“Wake up, Sunshine,” David cooed, holding the cold bottle against the wounds on Jon’s ass.

“Jesus Christ, Lema, get that off me!” Jon tried to squirm away from the chill.

“Now that’s not asking nicely, is it?” David leaned down and ran his warm tongue where goosebumps were raised. “Better?”

“Yes sir, thank you,” Jon mentally shook himself awake and answered appropriately.  Jon inhaled sharply when he felt David drizzle more of the water over his back then his warm tongue following the trails, lapping the water from hollows on Jon’s back and following with soft, small kisses.

David moaned in delight and said, “See what happens when you talk nicely.” He straightened up and gazed down at Jon. “Sit.”

Jon rearranged himself gingerly on the bench to a sitting position and waited. David’s fingers splayed on Jon’s chest and leaned him back, his arms resting on the bed behind. “Comfy?” David asked.

Jon nodded, “Yes Sir.”  He was slightly confused as to what was happening but he wasn’t going to complain just yet.

“Good because...I was in the wrong to dismiss you the way I did,” David said, sinking to the floor on his knees in front of Jon and looked up into his eyes.  “I’m here to...renegotiate our terms.” He slid his hands up Jon’s legs and thighs, resting his palms and his eyes sparkling in the blue light.

“Oh!” Jon breathed, barely able to believe what was happening.  He swallowed heavily and chewed on his lip slightly, the stirrings of lust and desire already heavy in his veins.

David bowed his head and his curls fell like curtains around his face. “I ask you as your Dominant, do you wish to continue our arrangement?”

“Oh yes...Sir,” Jon breathed.  His heart was thudding within the confines of his chest wall, his cock was thickening and twitching.

David’s hand wrapped around Jon’s cock, stroking it slowly. “Tell me what you need and want from me,” he said, less in a dominating tone and more of a submissive wishing to please voice. He licked from base to top and just under the head.

Jon shook his head slightly, his thoughts scattered at the change in the man before him and the way he was stroking him.  “I- I want you. To love me… make love to me.”

David’s tongue swirled around the head and licked at the small slit. “Why do you wanna love someone as broken as me? You know everything I’ve been through…”

“Permission to speak freely?”

“Granted.”

“You’re not the only one broken.  We’ve known each other for what seems like forever.  You’ve been there for me from the word go and for that, I will forever be grateful for.”   Jon reached out and cupped David’s face, “And now...when I needed you after Richie left, you were there again.  I’ve been a fool for way too long and now it’s time for me to be there for you.”

David gave a small smile. “Those five words you swear to me?” He asked with a wink, slipping his lips over Jon’s shaft and showing just how deep he could take him.

“Ooh!” Jon gasped as his cock hit the back of David’s throat.  His head dropped to one side as he watched the blond curls bounce as he took him in again slowly.

David pulled off with a small gag and a long strand of saliva connecting him to Jon. He licked and slurped it then groaned, “Tell me your terms and conditions. Tell me what you expect, and I’ll tell you what I can give.” His hand stroked and twisted Jon’s cock, David’s tongue and lips exploring under and taking each ball into his warm mouth.

“I- I don’t need the hearts and flowers, sir,” Jon panted, “Just a night every… oh god...every now and again of.. of.. Tenderness.  I don’t need you to declare your love, I just need to feel it or the semblance of it.” His arms grew tired so Jon reached out to tangle his fingers in David’s hair, the soft curls glowing in the light.

“Will that make you happy?” David asked before swallowing Jon once more, his head bobbing and his mouth sucking and slurping along the shaft. “Will it make you happy if I laid you in my bed on your side and pressed myself against your back?”

“Yesss,” Jon whispered.  He squeezed his eyes shut against the sudden overwhelming emotion that flooded through him.

David pulled off Jon’s cock and sat back on his heels. “Hmm...Get into that position. I need to check something,” he said with a smile. Jon blinked a couple of times but did as he was told, thinking it was a good thing the benches were quite wide.

“Now, curl up your knees and kinda stick out your ass,” David said and Jon obliged. “Hmmm...something doesn’t look right…” He examined Jon’s form then nodded, climbing up behind him on the bench and sliding his arm under Jon’s head.

David adjusted himself and pulled Jon into his body, the two men fitting together like two perfect puzzle pieces. He wrapped his other arm around Jon’s waist, fingers grazing down his side. “Tell me what would make you happy now,” David whispered in Jon’s ear.

“I want to feel you take me slowly until you can’t stand it anymore,” Jon said, “Or you could hold me...like this.”

David lifted Jon’s leg and draped it over his own, spitting on his fingers silently and reaching down to tease his lover’s puckered entrance. “Right here?” David asked, slowly pressing a lone finger past the tight ring of muscles.

“Oh...yeah, right there…” Jon swallowed down a sob.  The long months since Richie left and since he’d felt an embrace like this seemed like an eternity away.  The small part within him that needed love to survive drank deeply from the feel of David’s arms, warmth, and heartbeat around him.

“I don’t think I’ve really taken the time to caress every crevice and curve in your body,” David confessed. “Such a tragic mistake on my part.” His fingers stretched out and prepared Jon. He pulled out and spit on his hand once more, this time slathering it over his cock.

David kissed Jon’s back and neck, his blunt head slowly piercing Jon. Rather than the brutal fucking David typically gave him, he pushed until he was buried to the hilt and allowed Jon to feel every ridge and vein.

“Please...more?” Jon whimpered and reached behind him to grasp at David’s hips.

“As you wish...lover,” David whispered the last word into Jon’s ear, his free hand reaching to massage Jon’s stomach. He slowly rotated his hips up and around, his cock brushing each internal wall. 

“Ahh,” Jon’s fingers curled into David’s, interlocking their fingers as his prostate was hit. “Oh god…” The arm under Jon’s head bent, holding him against David’s chest. His eyes were fixated on the pool just outside the booth.

He admired how the subtle lights underwater transitioned from blue to purple and back again. “You know I’d do...anything...to make you happy, Johnny,” David moaned.

“Just be...you,” Jon replied softly, “Just you…”

David turned Jon’s face to look into his eyes. “Then get on top and show me yourself. That would make me...very very happy,” he groaned.

“Yes, Sir,” Jon nodded, disengaging himself and stood as David shifted on the bench.  He sat on his heels between David’s legs and just stared at the blonde, drinking in the sight before him, conscious of the blue eyes watching him.  

He smiled softly and placed a kiss over his heart before shifting over David’s body and impaling himself slowly.  Jon felt David bend his knees slightly, and lift his hips up to meet him. His eyes closed, savoring each sensation, his head dropped to the side as he sighed softly.

“You’re so beautiful, Johnny,” David whispered, reaching out to holding Jon’s waist with one hand and grasping his cock in the other. He smiled as he stroked it and Jon’s breath faltered.

Jon slowly moved up and forward, down and back, his hand laying on David’s chest for support. With each backward thrust, David would push up to bury deep into Jon.

“Oh...ju- just there,” Jon moaned on one particular thrust, curling his fingers into the flesh beneath him leaving crescent-shaped indents.

“Is this what you want? To feel my cock slowly push in and out? Look into my eyes, Johnny,” David groaned. “Feel every vein and pulse. Feel what you do to me.” He flexed that muscle and made his cock twitch inside Jon. 

Jon opened his eyes with a small “Oh!”.  David’s eyes had taken on a different quality to what he normally would have seen in their play sessions; this was kinder, softer even. Instead of constricted and dark blue with dominance, the pupils were dilated slightly and the blue was bright and sparkling. “Yes, Sir.”

David stroked Jon’s cock a little faster, the head-turning purple. “What do you feel, Johnny?” His raspy voice was now breathy and panting.

“Perfect Imperfection, Sir. The good...ahh...the dark...the...the…”

“The what?”

“The...you...finally,” Jon moaned, tears falling from the corner of his eyes. “Oh god...finally…”

David smiled up at him and reached to wipe away the tears with his thumb. “Fuck, Johnny...so close.”  His hips bucked up as his balls tightened, his cock throbbing inside Jon. David felt the pleasure grip his entire body and soul. His face contorted in ecstasy and he held Jon tight.

Jon swelled in his hand and the man’s body convulsed as he was pushed over the edge. “Oh...David...I...fuck I’m coming, D…”  His cum spurted over David’s chest and stomach as the other bucked hard and filled up his insides, hot and creamy.

For several minutes, both men could only stare at each other panting and sweating, their breath mingling in the moist humid air. David fingered a few stray locks from Jon’s forehead and caressed his cheek.  “Is this what you had in mind, Johnny?” David asked softly.

Jon’s eyes took on a dreamy sheen and small half smile lit his mouth as he leaned down to kiss David softly, murmuring “Thank you,” against his lips.

David pulled from the confines of Jon’s body and shifted them onto their sides, legs still tangled and arms wrapped around the other. Quiet, passionate kisses were shared and Jon buried his head into David’s chest. “We can set aside once every other week for this. Does that work? Your aftercare will not change. I’ll still hold you until you fall asleep,” David said, internally cursing himself for his doubting argument earlier.

“That works for me,” Jon replied in a muffled voice.

“We’ve been in here over an hour and should get you out of the heat,” David suggested. 

Jon looked up at him with a lopsided grin. “Yeah...we should.” Yet he made no move to disentangle himself from David. 

“Let’s at least get you to one of the beds by the pool.” Jon nodded and slowly stood up with David’s help. 

“What if someone comes in?” Jon asked, his hands wrapping around David’s neck.

David grinned wickedly. “I rented it out for the night. It’s all ours.”

Jon’s eyes went wide and he kissed David, turning to leave the booth. David watched him slide the door open and jump happily into the heated pool. He leaned against the doorway and smiled, inclining his head as Jon gave him a come-hither glance.

_ Fuck you, Rashbaum. You should feel like an asshole. _

“Why?” David replied to the voice in his head, not realizing he spoke out loud.

“I want you to join me,” Jon said with a shrug.

_ This is all he wanted. _ David grinned at the inner voice and stepped into the pool, tying his hair back and wading towards his...lover.  
  



	5. Chapter 5

***~*David’s POV: September 2013*~***

If you had told me that I’d be romantically involved with a man, I would have said you’re crazy. But here I am. Fifty-one years old with butterflies in my stomach, strolling barefoot down the carpeted hallway of a five-star hotel we’re staying in currently.

In the three months after Richie’s departure, Jon had come to rely more on me professionally and personally. Sometimes he wouldn’t talk to any of us away from business meetings. Even then it was through email or the occasional sheet of paper under our doors. 

I was still there for him when he needed that rock and stepped in to help direct soundchecks, or when he needed a setlist made. He never had to ask twice, and I always delivered. Then one night in June, I don’t know what broke him...but he did.

Fast asleep in my room and a bottle of wine left open on the nightstand, I heard soft sniffles in the dark and felt him crawl into my bed. First it was his hand exploring under the blanket, but soon he was straddling my waist.

That was the first night we fucked and several more followed. Some nights he would call or text, asking me to come to his room. Sometimes there would be little to no foreplay. He’d simply request that I force him over the bed and fuck him, drunk and sober. 

Other times he’d want something more romantic or kinky. I was happy to oblige both requests. You can ask me a million and one times why would I do this for Jon. I’ll give you the same answer each time. Because I enjoy making him happy and I love him. 

He’s my best friend and my brother. Plus it makes me feel wanted and appreciated. Though if I had to be honest with you, part of it was to ease the pain Richie inflicted on him. Sexually I’d been mentored by Tico as a dominant, so it took little effort to slide into that mode for Jon. 

I knock on his door and straighten out my black shirt. Damn thing always got wrinkled, no way to avoid it. Not that it would be on for very long. It never did with him. My heart leaps as he opens the door and stands there in his favorite pair of jeans; the ones that hung low on his hips. 

“Right on time,,” Jon gives me a big smile and stands to the side. His voice sends a shiver down my spine.

“Have I ever been late for you, Johnny?”

He gives me a beautiful smile and closes the door, securing the lock in place. “Not in 35 years.” His lips press against mine. I let out a soft moan as his tongue teases mine. My hand cups his cheek and I allow my thumb to caress his skin, raising goosebumps. “You’re the one constant thing I can rely on,” he whispers.

“I’m always here for you,” I reply, pushing my hips to him and feel his arousal. His nimble fingers push the buttons of my shirt through their holes, hands drawing it off my shoulders and he folds it neatly on the chair. 

“May I remove my pants? They’re very tight,” he asks, his voice taking on a subservient quality.

“Please do,” I grant him the desired permission. Jon licks his lips at the noticeable bulge in my pants, wiggling his ass at me and tugging his jeans to his ankles. “Don’t keep me waiting, Johnny.” I brought my hand down on his ass hard. 

Jon squeaks, falling to his knees and bowing his head to kiss my feet. His eyes found mine. “I submit myself for your pleasure,” he whispers.

He trembles as my fingers weave through his hair and lays his head into my hand. “You enjoy Daddy’s touch, don’t you?” I ask him, pulling those locks just enough for his lips to part.

“Yes, Sir. I ache for your touch every night,” he said and I take notice that his normally deep voice was much breathier. I could always melt him with a single stare. He was my clay to mold and shape, the only one besides Tico that knew me inside and out.

I reach down and examine his cock, nodding in approval as he twitches it in my grasp. “Such a good boy. You learned a new trick?” He nods excitedly. “Do it again for Daddy.” He did and I reward him with a swipe of my finger over the glistening head.

He watches as I lick off his juice and bites his lip. “Do I taste good, Daddy?” Jon asks.

“You do. Would you like a taste?” I offer. 

“Yes please, Daddy.”

I swipe my finger again and he gasps. “Here you go, baby boy.” I hold my finger out to him and he nips playfully at it. “Hey! That was not nice,” I scold and slap his face.

Jon pouts. “But I want to taste you.” 

My hand grips his hair and I drag him over the soft carpet. “What did I say about biting?” I ask him, yanking his head back to look at me.

“But I didn’t mean too!” He exclaims, maybe a little too loud.

I spit in his face and snarl, “Little One, I gave you your rules months ago. If you’re not gonna follow them, I’m not gonna pay attention to you and I sure as hell won’t waste my time.”

“Don’t ignore me, Daddy,” he whimpers. His eyes widen and quivers his lips. Normally that always did the trick. Not this time. Instead I slap him harder on the face, enough to leave a red handprint. I grab his chin and place my face an inch from his, smile twisting into a smirk. 

“You dare make demands of me? Do you wish to play traditional Daddy where I put you in the fucking corner for two hours. You could sit there and stare at nothing, not have the pleasure of Daddy’s touch. Does my precious baby want to run the show?”

His eyes stay locked on mine. He doesn’t dare turn away when I put my foot down. “N-no, Sir...Please…” 

“Or Daddy can play your games with you.” I throw him onto his stomach and straddle him from behind. From my back pocket, I retrieve my knife and pop out the blade in front of his eyes where I have his full undivided attention. 

“Daddy, no...don’t hurt me…” He cries.

I hold his head back and lower the blade to his neck, pressing against the flesh enough for him to feel the sharp cold metal.  I laugh and whisper hotly in his ear, “When you start to fuck with Daddy, Daddy will fuck with you right back.”

“Yes, Sir.” He whimpers as I knick his neck slightly, enough for one tiny drop of blood to ooze out. “Ahh…” I lean down and trail my tongue over the crimson, lapping up the sweet liquid and sharing it with Jon. His lips and tongue kiss me back hungrily.

“What are you?” I ask.

“I’m Daddy’s naughty little boy.” I spank his ass hard several times, Jon crying out with each lashing. I lower myself onto the sofa, leaving him naked and exposed on the floor.  

“Indeed you are. Crawl to me.” Jon crawls on his hands and knees in front of me and looks up expectantly. I rub my aching cock through my pants, pulling the zipper down and releasing it from its confines. “Suck it and tell me how sorry you are.”

Jon is a good boy and kneels between my legs. He licks his lips at the bead of cum I offer to him and lowers his head, trailing his tongue from the base to head. “I’m really sorry, Daddy. For all the kisses in the world, I’m sorry for hurting you.”

I groan as he swallows my cock, the tip caressing the back of his throat. “Don’t choke, Little One.” I always did enjoy his lips wrapped around that shaft, loving the warmth and slickness of his mouth. My fingers pull at his hair. My little Johnny making slurping and sucking noises. “Fuck, baby boy.”

“I promise. I’ll be careful with Daddy’s cock,” he smiled and tugs at the tip, bobbing his head slowly. His tongue swirls around the head, sucking it gently between his lips and I allow my head to drop onto the sofa cushion.

“Your mouth is heaven, Johnny,” I moan. He lifts a hand to touch my chest and I lay mine on top. Jon tends to need some emotional connection and has always been intrigued by my hands. Now he curls his fingers into my palm as his gently suckles my balls, taking each in his mouth and caressing them with his tongue.

“Sir?” His voice is breathless. I gasp when I look down and his eyes lock on mine. Instead of lust and desire, they are full of love and need.

I smile. “Yes?”

“Will you make love to me?” He asks quietly. I open my arms to him and he crawls into them, handing me a small bottle. “I...I wanna feel you inside me, Da--”

“Say it, Johnny…”

Jon’s eyelids flutter close for a moment and he breathes in deep. “I wanna feel you inside me...David.”

It’s the first time I’ve allowed him to ask me for it without saying ‘Daddy’ or ‘Sir’. I have to hold back tears of sadness. Was he never allowed to ask by name before? With Richie? His face shows the pain of breaking a rule. But it's not something I can bring myself to punish him for.

“Hold on. Not here,” I whisper, my dominant side fading into the romantic lover. I hold him close to me and stand from the couch, his legs and arms wrap around me. I lay him on the bed with a kiss and crawl between his legs. “Perfect,” I say and rest on my calves. 

I flip open the bottle and pour the clear lubricant onto my fingers. He moans as I slowly moisten his entrance and slip a finger past the tight ring of muscle, stretching him carefully and feeling him clench. “Mmm,” he moans.

“Relax,” I breath and he does, a second finger joins. With my free hand, I wrap it around our dicks and stroke them together. 

“David…” He reaches up to massage my chest, tracing my Joker tattoo with his fingertips then down to my belly.

A bead of lube escapes and I catch it, coating my cock with it and I tease the rim as he strokes himself. “Say it for me,” I request. “One more time…”

“Make love to me, David,” he whispers and spreads his legs for me. I press the head in and he whimpers, fingers curling into the bedding. “I need you…” My hands hold his hips as I press into him inch by inch. I fill him to the hilt then lean in to capture his lips in a searing kiss.

I raise my body enough to nearly slip from him, before sucking on his bottom lip and thrusting in hard. Jon moans into my mouth. “Jon…” I breath out and breaking the delicious kiss.

He fingers tangle in my curtain of blond curls. “I know, David.”

I nod and wrap my arms around his neck, laying my weight on his body rocking against him. Jon’s eyes slip close and lips part with each breath, his hands grasp at my hips. His soft chest hair rubs against mine and I inhale sharply. 

“I…I…” His lips attach to my neck, tongue darting out for a taste. 

I nip at his shoulder and smile as he pants, “You what, David?” Jon urges me to plunge deeper into his body. I oblige and lift myself onto my arms, staring into his beautiful face twisting with each movement.

“Fuck, Jon...I…” My fingers find a hard nipple and roll it between my fingers, making his hips buck from the bed.

I trace his bottom lip with my thumb, his low groaning making my cock drive into him harder. Jon looks up at me, his face twisting in ecstacy. “Oh god, David...please say it,” he moans.

Our bodies rock in time together, my heart beating from my chest and he lays his hand on it.  My breath hitches in my throat as I watch my cock slide in and out of him. It’s too perfect...too fucking perfect. Jon clenches his ass in time with my thrusts. “Fuck Johnny…It’s you,” I pant.

My cock brushes against the small bundles of nerves and Jon’s back arches. “Right there, David...goddamnit tell me,” he begs.

Our bodies are both shaking as I fuck his ass faster, a light sheen of sweat making us glisten in the lamp light. “I fucking love you, Johnny...fuck I love you to heaven and fucking hell!” I call out and he pulls me down again.

“Then make me yours, David Rashbaum...please make me yours,” Jon pleaded. With a loud shout and convulsing, Jon’s cock erupts between us.

My own body follows soon after with a trembling yell of my lover’s name, spilling hard into his ass and filling him with my warmth. He holds tight around my cock, eyes shut tightly. “Fuck, Jon,” I say lowly, a single tear escaping down my cheek.

“David, David, David,” he murmurs over again like a mantra.

“Open your eyes, baby. I’m right here,” I answer and wrap my arms around him, making no attempt to withdraw from Jon.

He opens his eyes, blue on blue and pushes the sweaty hair back from my eyes with the side of his palm “Hi,” he says weakly and kisses my lips tenderly.

“Hi yourself, sweetness,” I reply and reluctantly roll off him. I couldn’t bring myself to ask how long, the where, why or when. One thing was clear though. Things had changed...the balance had shifted from a casual playful dynamic to...something else.

“Something on your mind?” He asks me. “You look like you’re lost in space.” 

I look over at Jon and move a strand of hair from his eyes. “Can I ask what you would do if Richie chose to come back? It wasn’t something I really thought about before...well…now.”

He rolls over and rubs his nose against mine. “He won’t.” His fingers play with the medallion on my chest.

“If he did though…”

Jon kisses me deeply and his hand trails down to hold me at the hip. “Then he’d find me in your arms, wouldn’t he?”


	6. Chapter 6

***~*David's POV: 2013 - New Year’s Eve*~***

Following the final 2013 show, we lined up at the front of the stage. Jon’s fist clenched around my shirt behind me and I held him tight to my side. We all linked hands as the audience sang to us and bowed, forcing smiles for photos with Bergman. 

No one really had a lot to say as we descended below the stage. Jon was right behind me and I could hear him coughing. It was a flurry of towels and water. I reached my hand behind and felt his sweaty fingers lock with mine. 

Matt led the herd to the convoy of Escalades, I took Jon into one and shut the door. We sat down and Jon could do nothing but fall crying into my arms. His body shook with his sobs and his voice was shot. Luckily, he never had to say much for me to understand.

“L-Le-Lema…” He choked out once, but I shushed him. 

“Just be quiet and relax, Johnny...I love you,” I whispered and his tears soaked through my t-shirt. The car ride back to the hotel was short and we snuck in through the underground car park, rode the elevator to the top floor and stepped out into a plush corridor. 

I could tell his physical strength was gone as I carried him to the hotel suite, locking the door after placing the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign outside. He said nothing as I undressed us both and brought him into the shower me. 

He stood under that hot water and leaned against me as I lathered up his hair and body. Fuck… he didn’t even have the strength to lift his hands. “I haven’t felt this drained since 1990,” he confessed. It wasn’t necessary though. I’d known this for weeks, but Jon never wanted to stop.

Jon couldn’t tell the band when we might meet up for a studio session because Jon himself didn’t even know that answer. The music just wasn’t in him. We were all desperate to get as far from the madness, and reminders of Richie, as possible. 

Once I dried him off and room service had arrived, our robes lay forgotten over the table and my legs tangled with Jon’s on the king size bed. The rest of that night was a blur of lovemaking and wine, tears, and kisses. That beautiful man rode me until we were crying out in release, his nails digging into me.

His tears and my embrace comforted him to sleep, giving me a chance to book a private jet for us on my phone. After all, I didn’t wanna disturb him by getting out of bed. His body was just too warm to leave. A month away from all the bullshit was what Jon needed. 

Before anyone protests that he needed to be at home or making contact with Richie, I’ll say shut the fuck up. I know Jon and I know what he needs.

I watched Jon roll over in my arms the next morning, pulling me into his lips. “Morning, DB.” His breath is warm as he groans. I wake him up with small kisses along his collarbone and chest, dipping beneath the covers and bringing my man up to heaven.

Yeah, I said, ‘my man’. No matter how much I tried to push it off, he is and was. We don’t talk about the future. Just the here and now. I can give him what he needs and he gives me what I’ve been denying myself.

We take out time in the shower and get dressed. From the suite down to the car and through heavy traffic to the airport, he holds my hand like a drowning man grips a lifeline. Vicky doesn’t ask questions aboard the jet, she never does.

It’s a long flight from Brisbane to the St Barth airstrip. Jon and I drink and kiss for the most part. If he doesn’t care to talk, I don’t force it but he knows I’ll listen. Ever since the night I said that I love him, Jon’s grasped onto that. Hell, so have I. It feels good to love someone again.

“What’s that smile for?” Jon’s looking over at me, stroking my cheek with his thumb. I pull him closer and kiss his lips sweetly.

“For you and this escape from reality with you.” Okay, so that might sound a little lame. I wait for him to laugh. He doesn’t. Instead, he props himself on his elbow and plays with my curly hair, twisting a strand around his finger and letting it spring back again.

“I know this is quoting our song but...thank you...for loving me…” Jon replied, a slight sheen of tears in his eyes.

“Always.”  _ Now that was lame. _ But from the tiny smile on his face, Jon doesn’t care. He stands and pulls me from my seat towards the single bedroom in the back, abandoning our movie and drinks. 

It was a bumpy descent into St Barth, the jet rising and dropping with the strong wind gusts. Outside the window, I could see the prominent blue water and sandy beaches. Sometimes this felt more like home than Jersey. I turned at Jon’s low whimpers. “Come on, handsome. You’ve been through this before,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. In reality, I was shitting bricks with each sway.

“Yeah, doesn’t make it any easier,” he replied through clenched jaws, “We need a teleporter thing like in Star Trek.”

I kiss the back of his hand as the jet inclines forward and the wheels touch down on the runway. Outside, it’s warm and inviting. Trees and mountains surround the tiny airport, allowing for complete seclusion. “Mr. Bryan, Mr. Bongiovi, Welcome!” A dark man with a heavy French Caribbean accent greets us.

Jon’s quiet so I open the car door for him and talk to the driver. “No, no we’re not up in the hills. No villa this time. Just the yacht this time,” I tell them and the driver nods, loading our bags into the trunk. Inside the car, Jon is pale and curled into himself. “Johnny, you hungry?”

“Nah...not really,” he mumbled, “Tired…”

“I promise, you’ll have plenty of time to rest,” I whisper and open my arms to him. “Come here, baby boy.” Jon scooted over to lay his head in my lap and I gently ran my fingers through his hair as the car wound down the hills towards Port de Gustavia.  
  


*~*~*

Okay...so the first week here was uneventful for the most part. As our large yacht traveled along the Carribean, Jon was abnormally quiet. He’d curl up to me if I was next to him or nibble on lunch, but he’d refused to go outside much. I don’t think I really expected anything different.

Jon’s depression had reached its peak two nights ago. He’d drank his way through most of the booze onboard after he’d sent me to bed. I woke up to him retching and sobbing. He kicked and screamed, punching the wall and nearly clocking me in the nose.

It took me bringing out ‘Master’ for Jon to finally calm. With the promise of ‘therapy’ the next day, he allowed me to clean him up and help him to bed. Well, I am a man of my word. Last night after dinner and wine on the deck at sunset, I unpacked my play bag and Jon was kneeling naked next to the plush sofa, just waiting for me.

We were lucky to be far enough from shore that no one could hear Jon’s cries and screams. Screams of pain and heartbreak. Cries for the loss and betrayal of a brother. Exhaustion, pleasure, love, lust. It poured out of him with every lashing of my whip and smack of my twitching palm he could never resist.

Jon had held back from using his safeword and allowed me to flog and whip him until his eyes glazed over and he’d lost himself in subspace.

I continued checking to ensure Jon was still good to go and gave him lashing after lashing until black and purple bruises appeared. Eventually, the bruises became bloody, Jon’s skin decorated in crimson. 

Then and only then did Jon call out “Prayer…” and I transitioned into our aftercare routine.

My tongue traced the scar of my initials carved in Jon’s ass check, soft whimpers escaping his lips as he sunk into the bedding. That was the first night in months that he went to bed with a smile.

Today has seen an improvement. Jon’s outside in the pool and I’m reclined in a chair on the top deck. Of course, I chose Jon’s favorite purple speedo which left little to the imagination. Luckily his was the only imagination present and swimming laps in the crystal clear pool.

His hair is showing a little more gray these days as he stares out over the blue water. I lick my lips as his back muscles flex and he rolls his neck. “Do you know what time it is? Time for my lap dance, baby,” I tease loudly over the stereo music, draining the last of my beer. 

Jon turns around and gives me a pearly white smile, wadding in the chest high water. “Actually I think it’s time to cool you off, Sir,” he retorts.

I lower my sunglasses and catch his gaze as he swims up to the dock, splashing at me playfully and sticking out his tongue. “Hey, that shit’s cold! Don’t tease if you don’t plan to deliver,” he joked.

“Aww,” Jon coos, standing up waist deep to show off his glistening shoulders and wet chest hair. I feel tugging sensation and try to adjust myself. “I’d never tease you, Daddy. I consider that quite an offensive assumption.”

“Assumption? Pup, come closer and I’ll show you an assumption,” I say in a demanding tone and stand from my chair. 

“Oooh, I’m so scared. You got me shaking in my shorts.” Jon attempted to swim further into the pool as I dive in, only succeeding in being pulled under when I grab his ankle. We wrestle under the water before breaking the surface. 

Jon was yelling and I chuckle, holding him in my arms and pushing him against the pool wall. He lifts himself to try and escape, only succeeded in putting his ass in my face. “Think I can shake you out of those panties?” I snap at the waistband with my teeth. 

“Is that a threat, Sir?” He simpers and wiggles into my face, losing his grip to fall back into the pool. I catch him in time and turn him in my arms, his legs wrapping around my waist.

“Oh no, Johnny baby,” I growl lowly, “It’s a promise. And you know I never break my promises to you.” Jon gazes down at me, his eyes full of the same lust and laughter as mine. 

Jon sticks his tongue out at me, an evil smirk gleams on his face as his arms rest on my shoulders. “I couldn’t ever forget that, Daddy,” he whispers.

I hold him tight and kiss his cheek, asking, “You feeling better today, baby boy?”

“Yeah I am,” Jon nods and kisses the tip of my nose. He smiles down at me as he lays his head on my shoulder. His skin is so warm from the bright sun and he relaxes, our bodies drifting in the water and enjoying the view.

I let out a sigh of contentment as Jon’s nose nuzzles into my neck. He thinks I can’t hear him sniff but he’s always been a sucker for my aftershave. He shifts his body and moans as his cock rubs against mine. “You sore from yesterday?” I ask him as my hands knead his ass, still feeling slightly guilty about our play time.

“Yeah mostly my arms and left hip,” Jon complains.

“Want me to make you feel better, baby boy?” He nods at my question and I pull him into a steamy kiss. Our lips and tongues tangle in a passionate dance, fingers dancing along the back of his thighs. I reach between us and untie Jon’s shorts, pushing them off along with my own.

He moans as I stroke our cocks together in my hand and pin him against the wall. “Oh god...feels so good.”

My fingers found his tight hole, teasing and stretching, prepping my lover to receive me. I press into him painfully slow, holding onto the poolside and his hip for momentum. “Mmm you look positively radiant, my love,” I groan and slip my tongue between his lips.

His arms wrap like a vice around my neck, running through my hair. “You’ve made me feel wanted again, baby.” Soon his tongue joins mine and we fall into each other, a taste sweet than any fruit or wine.

“I don’t just want you, Johnny baby,” I moan and lean in to whisper into his ear, “I...need...you…” Each word was punctuated with a deep hard thrust against Jon’s prostate, his lips quivering each time.

“Then need me harder!  Need me again and again,” he whimpers, rocking his body into mine. His head fell back as I move him from the wall onto the pool steps, laying his body back and kneeling in front of him. My eyes lock on his as I sink back into him, piercing his soul.

I hold his thighs and pull back, plunging back in with renewed vigor. “You’re mine, Johnny…” Neither of us paid attention to our surroundings, too busy in our own world. “That’s it, baby...tighten up that ass around me...more…”

Jon’s muscles clench around my cock as his back arches, neck straining and inviting. I reach down and firmly massage his sweet spot just under his balls. “Fuck, Sir...oh god more,” he cries.

“Since you’re being such a good boy.” I grip the pool steps for balance, his cock rubbing between us. Jon hooks his legs over my shoulders. My tongue trails up his strong calves before I stink my teeth into them.

Jon yelps in pleasure and pain, his eyes wild as his fingers gouge at my forearms. I wink and smirk at him, rolling him onto all fours and fuck my man with abandon. “Your good boy feels like being oh so naughty though.”

I bring my hand down with a loud smack against Jon’s ass cheek, he moans loudly and I give him another. Over and over...deep thrust...pull out... _ smack _ ...in...out... _ smack _ ... _ smack _ . Each time his body jerks from my touch, I calm him with my nails down his spine. “Say...you’re mine…”  _ Smack _ ! “Who to do you belong to, Johnny?”  _ Smack _ ! 

“Oh god...you, Sir...you, always you. Fu-ck yeah.”

“Cum for me, my dirty little boy,” I growl, wrapping my hand around his neck. “Cum for Sir and I’ll reward you…” I shove into him deep and hard, fast and desperate. My free hand reaches around to stroke his tightening cock. “Don’t you fuckin’ hold back on me. Let yourself go...for me…”

“Ungh…” My lover falls over the edge and cries out in his release, his hot cream neatly falling into the clear pool. I soon follow from his body’s vibrations, filling him completely. I hold us together, enjoying the tremors and aftershocks. Soon I soften and slip from his warmth, but he clutches my arms when I move slightly. “No...no...not yet…”

I kiss his neck and up to his ear, snaking my tongue out along the lobe. “I promise...I’m not going anywhere, baby, but my legs are going to collapse. How about we go cuddle up in the sun?”

“Sounds heavenly... just give me a minute to find the energy to move,” he murmurs and I stand slowly, feeling my joints popping. I help him onto the large poolside loungers and lay down to hold him in my arms. Being so far out, we let the warm sun embrace our nude bodies.

His toned back presses to my chest and he lays feather soft kisses along my arm. “Do you think we scarred the staff for life?” Jon asks after a long silence.

“Does it really matter? They get paid generously for their...complete discretion,” I reply, nibbling at his ear.


	7. Chapter 7

***~*Jon’s POV*~***

David and I sat out on the balcony, sipping on a fine Rose wine and watching the sunset as the cruiser sailed toward the coastline and the New Year.  “Is it strange to make a wish on New Year’s?” I ask him.

He chuckles and offers me a white truffle. “Not at all. Have to admit, it’s been one for the books.” I savor the sweet and inhale David’s cologne mixed with sea salt. 

“I don’t wanna go home.” I rest my head on his shoulder and he gives me that sweet Lema smile. It’s something I won’t ever tire of.

“We won’t just yet, then,” he says and kisses me deeply. “We’ll stay as far from Jersey for as long as you want.” My eyes take in the rest of his appearance and my mind wanders to the lustful hours before.

We’d taken a long steamy shower together earlier and dressed for the party later that night.  As he fixed his hair, I had come out to find that David had laid out my clothes for me. I smile at the blue shirt.  He seemed to like me in blue. 

I slipped on the soft black jeans and roll my eyes at how snug they seemed to be.  I’m sure he’s deliberately swapping my jeans for a smaller size just so he can perv on my ass. I chuckle as I pull the shirt on next.  I was standing at the mirror, drying my hair, when he comes up behind me. 

“Those jeans look mighty fine on you, Johnny,” he growls. I lean back into his arms and smile at him, his gray shirt with those top three buttons undone and showing off his Joker tattoo makes my mouth positively water.

“Why thank you...you don’t look so bad yourself,” I smile and turn to face him, tracing my cool fingers over his warm chest. He’s still damp from the shower and I lick my lips. We didn’t make it out to the balcony until an hour later.

The lights of the coastal town started to shine in the distance, little pinpricks of sparkles, as we edge closer and closer, eventually the music filtering over the noise of the cruiser slicing through the water.

David stood and took my glass, setting it with his on the nearby table. “Ready to party? Try and forget everything for a while?” He pulls me up and we sway side to side.

“You know...for someone who once said he hates romance, you do seem to truly enjoy it,” I say. He kisses me and I melt.

“I never said I don’t enjoy it, Johnny,” he whispers. “I just swore that I’d never let anyone into that part again.” He cups my jaw and gives me another kiss. His curls tickle my face and I smile.

“How hard do I have to knock to get in?” I ask.

“Oh darlin’,” David chuckles, “you broke through that barrier already. You have nothing to worry about.”

My heart swells a little hearing those words, just as it did when he said he loved me those few months ago.  I duck my head a little, nod and smile sweetly up at him.

The boat pulls up to its slip and the engine cuts off. He takes my hand in his, knowing we are safe here in the isolated paradise and leads me onto the dock. “I just wanna enjoy the night with you and leave fucking 2013 behind,” I confess. 

We stroll up the pathway to Eden Rock and were shown to a table for two toward the back, letting the music wash over us as we take our surroundings in. A long platter of local sushi and sashimi was brought to the table along with a bottle of wine, several delicate sauces available for us to savor.

“This,” David says, taking the two wine glasses from the waiter and handing one to me, “...is to a new year with new adventures...together, whether they be good or bad. Best friends, brothers...and lovers.”

“To...us,” I reply quietly as our glasses clink almost soundlessly amid the celebratory noise.  I slip my free hand down to his thigh and squeeze gently.

David lets out a low grown and picks up a delicate piece of sushi with his chopsticks. He dips it into a thin brown sauce and lifts it to my lips. I open obediently and feel it melting on my tongue. He’s watching me with a raised eyebrow and offers me another.

“Mmm...you enjoying that, baby?” He asks, swiping off a fall drip of sauce from my chin, licking it from his finger. I nod and savor it as he takes a bite, chewing slowly and washing it down with wine. I follow his lead but my eyes dart to the left after a flash of light.

My head swirls this way and that, quickly taking in all the people. In my haste, I spill my wine into David’s lap. “Oh fuck,” I mutter and grab him a cloth napkin. 

“You okay, Johnny?” He asks and pats dry his pants. Another white flash catches my gaze and I jump closer to him. He wraps an arm around my shoulders. “What’s up? Hey! Johnny, look at me!” He snaps his fingers in my face but my breathing is quickening.

“Cameras!” I whimper, my anxiety starting to creep up my throat to choke me.

“Hey hey...it’s probably just the spotlights. Jon, Jon just brea--”

“David! Jon! This way!” Our heads shoot up as the shout, several cameras popping up from the hedges behind us and to the side. “How long have you to been together?!!”

Eden Rock security swarm the table and David yanks me up roughly. “Jon, don’t let go of me!!” He shouts and security attempts to push away the converging photographers and shouted questions. 

“Are you two officially coming out as gay?!” Cameras are shoved in our faces, bright flashes blinding us both. “What happened to Dorothea and Lexi?! Do you have any comment on the leaked video?!”

I curl my hands into fists at the last comment. David’s face reflects the same betrayal and shock. He pulls out his phone and dials a number. “Airport, Vicky...Twenty minutes...Now!”

“Jon, what about Richie?!! Is this the end of Bon Jovi?!” The paparazzi jostle us as David and I fall into a desperate sprint down the docks with security, hot tears stinging my eyes. “What would your fans say if they knew you two were an item?!!”

Security guards close off the dock gate as David drags me inside and slams the door shut. “Pack...now...

I stand rooted to the spot, the questions hurled at us still ringing in my ears and tumbling around my head.  They eventually gave way to the big question; how did they find out? I felt the small amount of food swirl sickly with the wine and I made a dash to the bathroom and fell before the toilet just in time for the contents to make a reappearance.

David kneels next to me and a cool cloth dabbing my fevered skin. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispers.

“Not your fault…” I gasp, “How though?”

“I don’t know but we can’t stay here. I’ll find out if it’s the last thing I do.” He hands me a glass of water to rinse my mouth out.  

I straighten and lean against the counter top willing the shakes to stop.  “What video were they talking about? Have you seen anything?”

David looks up from his packing and shakes his head. “I’ve been a little too occupied with a certain guy to pay much attention to the media,” he says with a smile, picking up a bottle and handing me a small green pill. “Take it. It’ll help your anxiety.”

“Baby?  We’ll be okay, yeah?” I ask and swallow the pill.

He strokes my hair with gentle fingers, trailing them down my cheek. “Of course, we will. Just relax and I’ll pack.”

I take in the confidence in his eyes and nod once before leaning forward to kiss him, “What would I do without you.  Thank you.” Instead of sitting on the bed, I kneel down and bow my head. He gives me a kiss on the head and I watch him stride the room, our bags filling up higher and higher.

In a flurry, we sneak out to the car with security. Most of the paps are gone but a few stragglers remain. We keep our heads down and rush into the waiting car.

I can feel David’s eyes on me during the car ride as I fight against the urge to just fucking die. The ride is tense and bumpy. I lay across the backseat, my head in his lap and pull his warm leather jacket to black out my vision.

His smell embraces me as completely as the darkness, his hands run up my waist and down my arm. “Do you need anything from me, Johnny?” He asks. My fingers slide over his thigh but I don’t grasp to arouse. Instead, I hold onto him for comfort and concentrate on the flow of blood beneath the skin.

“We’re here,” David sighs and I peek out from the jacket. The door opens and I sit up. “It’s okay. They can’t get in.” He exits the car and helps me out. We’re at his villa high up in the coastal hills, light from the tiki lamps reflecting off an infinity pool with its own waterfall and bar.

My eyes drag through the darkness and I breathe in relief at the tall stone and iron barrier along the parameter. Lema always was a stickler for security with cameras and alarms. 

We watched as the driver left and the tall gate locked behind him.  I feel my best friend and lover wrap his arms around my waist. My throat closes and and I yank myself from his embrace.

I slowly descended the spiral staircase, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. David was in the den wearing his favorite flannel pants and no shirt, reclining back on the chaise sofa and strumming his guitar absently. Those fingers dancing gracefully over the six strings made my heart melt.

“Hey look who decided to join the land of the living,” David joked.

“Sorry, baby.” I trail my slim hand down his neck and chest. 

He sets the guitar next to the sofa and pulls me into his lap. “No need to apologize to me, darlin’,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around me.

“What if they come back? We should have gone back to Jersey,” I whimper and bury my nose in his blonde curls. 

“I’m right here with you, Jonny,” he whispers, fingers grazing my cheek as he moved a stray bit of grey hair from my face. I tilt my head to the side and his lips find mine, enjoying a rare quiet moment after the utter fiasco tonight.

What would the band say? What if Richie found out? Oh god...Dot and Lexi...the kids… “God I fucked up, Lema,” my voice trembles. “I’m sorry, baby...fuck I’m sorry!”

“Shh,” is all he says in reply, stroking my hair. “You didn’t fuck up, darlin’. We’ll deal with it together.”

He picks up a tablet and lowers all the blinds. The dim orange light from the sofa side lamps bath the room in a warm glow. I curl up into him and trail my fingers through his chest hair. “The kids…”

“...will be just fine,” he finishes and I look up at him through tears. He kisses each one, following the watery trail to my lips. I whimper when his tongue gently presses through, caressing my own.

“I...I can’t do this now,” Jon said pushing him away. “How? How did this happen?”

David sighs and his drops onto the sofa cushions. The TV, currently tuned to some news channel, becomes little more than background noise. “It had to have been on the boat,” he shrugs. “I mean, it was bound to happen eventually...right?”

_ “And in local news, two members of the popular rock band Bon Jovi were spotted in a very compromising position. The 51-year-old leader of the band was caught cozying up to his keyboardist, David Bryan, on their private yacht just off the coast of Gustavia close to Nikki Beach. _

_ “The source, who asked to remain unnamed, sent in these scandalous photos of Bongiovi and Bryan after his own sexual advances towards the rockstar were rejected. Neither Bongiovi nor Bryan would comment but can be seen here, captured by reporters, running hand in hand from the glamorous Eden Rock lounge.” _

“What?” I whip my head towards the TV in time to see a video of David kissing me in the pool. My breathing speeds up, becoming shallower and hands tremble. “Fuck...no…”

“Previous sexual advances?” David asks. “Who? Johnny...who? Do you know who did this?”

I don’t want to look him in the eye. Lying is out of the question. But I lived up to my end of the deal. I got him a job on my fucking yacht as he demanded. He’d shown me photos of me with Richie and with David, threatened to send them to the media if I didn’t get him more money.

This was the one fucking secret I couldn’t have going public. “James…”

I could almost hear the gears turning in David’s head as the name ran through his memory. “James? James from Security? I wondered what the fuck he was doing here. Thought you’d brought him for protection,” David replies, shaking his curls. “When? When did he...try to...when did he make advances towards you? Fuck...tell me, Jon!”

“It started before Richie left and through the whole tour,” I explain, scrubbing my hands over stubble. “At first it was money then he started demanding girls. After he showed me photos of you and me,” I sigh and avert my eyes, “He wanted me, nothing less. I gave into it but he wouldn’t stop.”

“And what? Did you feel like you would inconvenience me with this information?” I can hear the hurt in his voice and shake my head vigorously. “Jon, we could have stopped this early on.”  _ Fuck, he’s disappointed. I hate disappointing him.  _

I turn in his lap to face him. “Lema baby, I was just trying to protect you and--”

“By bringing that psycho to the one place we have just to get away from all the mayhem?” He moves a little and I slide off his lap onto the sofa. David starts pacing the lounge, the muscles in his arms and chest flexing. “Does Matt know anything about it?”

“No! He can’t!” I exclaim. “You know how my family is!”

“Did you even think about how this would affect...I dunno...anyone other than you?!” He stares at me for several moments, waiting for me to say...anything. Words evade me for the first time ever. I whimper when he grunts in frustration and storms out of the room, the one bedroom door upstairs slamming shut. 

I follow him shyly but flinch back when I hear his crying from inside. “I’m sorry, Lema...I’m sorry,” I whisper over and over like a mantra, sliding down the wall and curl up on the carpet. Eventually, I let David’s sobs and the ticking of my watch to lull me to a shallow slumber.

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

***~*David’s POV*~***

_ Not your place to out them! _

_ We support you, Jon and David! _

_ Love knows no gender! One love! _

I stare at the illuminated screen of my phone, scrolling through the social media feed. Colton had texted me earlier this morning. It simply said,  _ “Fuck the media...we love you, Dad.” _

He told me about Twitter blowing up with fans, both mine and the Bon Jovi feeds. I’ve spent the better part of two hours reading the comments and direct messages. They were good and bad, didn’t really expect anything less.

_ Fucking faggots! Which one takes it up the tailpipe XD _

_ Who wears the pants and who wears the panties?? _

Yeah, I know people are fuckers. Including Jon. Goddamnit, Jon. It’s because of him I’m in this fucking situation. Why the hell did I chase after him that night? Could have been an easy fuck and go.

No...no it couldn’t. He’s a brother to me, my best friend. It could never stop at a fuck and go. It doesn’t stop me from being angry with him. All he had to do was say something.

_ I ship Richie and Jon! David should be with Tico! _

Oh fuck this shit. The fanfiction writers are coming out now. I toss my phone on the bed and bury my face into the pillows. Jon was smart not to follow me. Fuck he pisses me off sometimes.

My stomach growls at the lack of food and a tugging in my groin keeps me from falling back into a dreamless slumber. What if I pack my shit and just go home? Back to my kids...my music...my own fucking bed…

Fuck! Ok ok I’m getting up. I swear if pissing took a year off my life, I would have been dead decades ago. Just can’t hold it in at my age. I catch a glimpse of my disheveled blonde curls. Need to color again. The grey is showing too much.

I throw the door open and stop dead. Jon is there on the floor, slouched against the wall for support. I don’t bother to wake him. He can fend for himself. The first morning release...ahh ain’t a damn feeling better.

Heading for the stairs, I glance over to find Jon’s awake and bleary eyed. I cock an eyebrow and continue downstairs for coffee and maybe even some bacon. Yes, I know. Bad Jew. Spare me.

I watch the coffee pot chug away with my favorite blend. Only bacon is pre-cooked. I shrug and throw it on a plate to microwave.

“D?” Jon said hesitantly, standing in the doorway as though he wasn’t sure of his welcome. 

I slam the microwave door shut and punch 30 seconds into the display. “What do you want?” I could hear the emptiness and coldness in my own voice.

“Can...can we talk?”

“Now you wanna talk?” I ask, grabbing the bacon plate when the timer beeped. “You sure you don’t wanna wait for video of us fucking backstage to be released?” 

“I...I never...I didn’t mean for any of that to happen,” Jon stuttered.

I take my cup of coffee gingerly, pouring in a generous measure of my favorite creamer and sugar. “Course you didn’t, Jon,” I reply sarcastically.

“Can I sit down?” Jon asked, his head was bowed and he picked nervously at his fingers, “I want to tell you everything.  Then, if you tell me to go, I will.”

We stare at each other, blue eyes on blue, both of us shirtless and shivering. I take the plate of bacon and coffee into the lounge, nodding him in as well. “Fine,” I grunt and sit on the sofa. “No bullshit though.”

Jon sat on the edge of the opposing sofa, his elbows on his knees, head in his hands while he gathered his thoughts.  He looked up finally, blue eyes shiny with unshed tears and started to talk. 

“It started back in 2010.  James was already working for us, part of the load crew, before all this happened.  I’d seen him around, watching me, he always seemed to be around when I was with Richie. He started seeking me out to talk. 

“After the concert in Houston, he was packing up the tour cases and got flirtatious saying he’d like to bring me out for a drink. Maybe I came off like an asshole but I said I wasn’t interested and left with Richie.”

I sip my coffee and nibble the bacon as he catches his breath. Yeah, he probably was an asshole. Arrogant, self-centered, ego-driven, and hot as hell with an ass you could crack an egg on. Who wouldn’t throw themselves at him?

“Flash forward two weeks later,” Jon continues, “Richie and I were recovering from a night of mind-blowing sex. We finish sound check and I’m in my dressing room going over the set list one last time. There’s a knock at the door. It’s James. He’s got this cat-who-ate-the-canary smile. Asks me for a drink before the concert. I decline and he pulls out his phone. 

“He’s got several photos and video of...of me and Richie from the prior week. A few actually. It started small with Richie giving me a quick kiss and then...fuck...I sorta pushed Richie for quickie under the stage.  We thought we were hidden amongst the equipment boxes. Obviously not hidden enough.”

“Obviously,” I repeat with a raised brow.

“So, James comes to me with this shit-eating grin and shows me the videos,” Jon sighed and scrubbed his face with one hand, “He says he’ll keep everything under wraps if I...if I let him fuck me. That was the first time. When...when that wasn’t enough, he demanded money, then a job with Matt. Then…,” he trailed off.

I shake my head and drain the rest of my coffee. “Johnny, security is there for a reason. Why didn’t you tell one of us or even Matt? We put trust in you both and you couldn’t even trust us enough to call a band meeting? Have his phone confiscated?”

“Because I was ashamed, okay?!” Jon snarled, “The buck stops with me. Or the fuck stops with me. Ha!” he spat out a derisive laugh, “Richie got wind that something was up. I couldn’t even let him touch me anymore. That’s one of the reasons he left, okay?!  He...he thought I was cheating on him.”

“No, it was worst,” I pipe in, “You were lying to him. And me.”

“Fuck D, he had me jumping at my own shadows,” Jon cried, “Every single fucking time, he’d come to me with new photos or videos, just to keep my mouth shut and my legs open.”

Jon fell quiet and I made no effort to speak for several minutes. I look out the big picture window over the morning sun reflecting off the glistening pool.

“Then...when I started to refuse,” he continued in almost a whisper, “he started slipping something into my stage tea. He’d be the security on my dressing room and quick change.  Didn’t you notice it wasn’t always Matt?”

“With how hard you work me on tour, I don’t notice much else besides sheet music, schedules and my rig,” I answer in a monotone. “I barely noticed Lexi when she came along. Fuck Jon, I’d have panic attacks at the hotel. So no...I didn’t notice a small security change.”

Jon stood and walked over to the window, standing close behind David, slipping an arm around his waist, “I’m sorry. So very sorry. Can you forgive me?”

“Jon, I beg you, just give me one good reason not to put in my own resignation,” I whisper, emotion choking my words.

“Be-,” Jon cleared his throat, “because I love you. I can’t lose you too. My life wouldn’t be worth anything anymore.”

I pull away from Jon’s arms, fighting to keep the tears bay. “Honestly...I think it’s best if we cool it for a while. Fuck man...I need to digest everything and...decide if I wanna still be with you...and with the band. This is why I never wanted another relationship…”

My phone starts buzzing and I rip it away from the table. I swallow thickly at Lexi’s name and spare a glance at Jon, leaving him standing alone. I press the talk button and raise the phone to my ear. “Hey…”

Lexi’s voice flowing through and tears fall one by one, staining my cheek. “Hey...is now ok or are you busy?”

“Right now I’m just glad to hear a familiar voice.”

“I saw the news,” Lexi says, “Didn’t know Jon was your type.”

I roll my eyes and reply, “Whether he is or not, that’s yet to be determined. I told him I needed a break.”

Jon looked up sharply in surprise at the first comment, before seemingly crumbling in on himself. I back out of the room and turn my back to him, unable to stand seeing him any longer.

Out the back door onto the patio, I slide the glass doors shut and collapse onto one of the chairs. “Probably for the best,” Lexi agrees, “You don’t have to tell me anything more if you--”

“Actually...you’re the one person I could use right now,” I cut in. “I know our marriage ended in a shitty way…”

“Just a little. I mean I only caught you in a threesome with Richie and a groupie,” her voice trails off then she continues, “Are you still in St. Barth?”

I scrub the tears from my flushed face. “Yeah...I’m at the villa…”

“Want me to come by?”

I glance inside and see Jon slouch upstairs, presumably to pack his suitcase. “You’re here?”

“Mmhmm,” she responds and I shiver, “On vacation with the girls. Kelly is getting married so it was a great excuse to fly south.”

“Jon’s here packing. Can I meet you somewhere instead?”

“Come by the Cheval Blanc. Suite 203,” she says. “It’s a corner suite, private balcony overlooking the ocean. Very peaceful.”

My breathing is shaky as I hang up with Lexi and rush upstairs for a quick shower. I know what you’re thinking. I shouldn’t be meeting up with my ex-wife but, besides April, Lexi knows me. She knows what makes me tick and she knows my anxiety. Admittedly, she also knows how to calm that anxiety.

The shower is brief but thorough. I wrap a towel around my waist, pull my hair into a ponytail and swear to myself. All my shit is in the same room as Jon’s. I glance down the short hallway, praying for him to walk out. He doesn’t.

I take a deep breath and push the door open, breezing past where he’s packing over to my own luggage. His eyes are boring into the back of my head, sending chills up my spine. I paw through my belongings for my favorite black shorts and white button down shirt.

“D...talk to me, please?” Jon asked, “Where are you going?” I ignore his question and throw the towel onto the bed after drying my chest. “I asked you a question.  The least you can do is answer me?” 

“Out,” I reply, sliding my shorts on and zipping them up. I pull my shirt on and button it only halfway, shrugging and finish the look with a baseball cap and sunglasses.

“Out where?” Jon persisted and grabbed at David’s arm as he walked past him.  “We need to talk this out, babe.”

I yank my arm from his grasp. “Don’t call me ‘babe’ and no, we don’t. You...you just need to go.”

“I’ll...I’ll be gone by the time you get back here,” Jon straightened, hurt and frost tinging his words, “I expect you back at work week after next.”

“You’ll see me when you see me,” I snap and slam the door behind me. 

 

***~*Jon’s POV*~***

Okay...so I fibbed a little. I couldn’t just leave for Jersey, not yet. Part of me hoped beyond anything that David would have a change of heart and call. I fall to the bed when I hear his Moke speed away from the house.

I have my fit of crying and screaming into the pillows, David’s scent still lingering in the soft cotton. Once they slow, I pull up a list of five star resorts in the area. Each one I call is booked for the holiday week. This is why I don’t deal with travel arrangements personally!

“Cheval Blanc, this is Marcus,” a smooth male voice comes on the phone.

“Marcus, I hope you can help me. Are you all booked as well?”

A few moments of listening to him tapping a keyboard are enough to jostle my nerves. “Actually we do have one suite available. Oceanside…”

“I’ll take it,” I cut him off and grab my wallet. I give him the credit card number and get a confirmation for booking.

“Thank you, sir,” Marcus said after the transaction was processed, “You’re all set. Do you need a car to pick you up?”

“Yes. I seem to be out of transport options,” Jon frowned, “I can be ready in half an hour.”

*~*

Forty-five minutes and one suitcase later, the car is speeding around the hills towards the beautiful resort. Somehow the island colors seem less vibrant. I tip the driver and roll my case inside.

Check-in was quick and relatively painless. Suite 202’s decor is white with blue accents, private patio and...a large bed. Very large. California King size and memory foam. A bed that should be shared.

I open the patio doors and breathe in the air. It’s heavier and less sweet, far less tantalizing than it was only 48 hours ago. I find the pack of cigs in my bag and strike one, inhaling the strong smoke and savoring the flavors.

It’s peaceful. The ocean waves roll into the sandy beach, the faintest music carrying on the breeze. I take another drag and call down for room service. Wine...no...whiskey...bourbon...the strongest they have. Whole bottles. Three, in fact. A large platter of buffalo wings and fries.

I can hear laughter and voices from the rooms on either side of me. One bottle goes down smooth and the voices fade slightly. The sun rises to its peak then begins to fall. I’m working through my second bottle and strip down to baggy sweats. No shirt. Too warm for that.

Whiskey was always David’s favorite. He could drink anyone under the table. I flip through the TV channels absently. Nothing and the news is no longer an interest. 

At some point, I nod off with the bottle in my hand. When my eyes open, darkness has settled over and the TV has shut off. I take a long swig of the liquor and smack my lips together in appreciation.

I wander outside and light up another cig. Apparently the neighbors are getting lucky. The woman is moaning and panting. That fucker’s a lucky one. Her partner is breathing heavily and growling.

My hand rests over my crotch and the growl goes straight through me.  _ Christ _ , I think,  _ it sounds familiar...or maybe I’m just missing him that much. _

“Oh god, baby, yes,” the male groans.

“Fuck, I missed you,” his partner breaths, “right there...fuck, you didn’t forget...oh god right there…”

“Goddamnit, Lex.” My blood freezes and the cig slips through my fingers.  My stomach churns ominously with all the booze and greasy food, but I’m rooted to the spot in sick fascination, like when you see an accident and you just can’t look away.  I can tell instantly that this will be a car crash of epic proportions, yet my body refuses to move.

David. I’m not hearing things. David is here. With Lexi. But that should be me. I should be the one he’s making love to...not her...not her.

The more I hear the more anger takes over from surprise; it’s the anger that fuels the movement. Their moans grow louder, Lexi begging David to fuck her ass. I lurch from the chair as Lexi cries out David's name and I stumble through the suite and out the door.

I find myself outside the suite next door.  For one moment I’m frozen again, wondering if it truly was David I was hearing or just my mind and the two bottles of booze making me hear things.

I pound my fist against the wood, getting louder and faster the more the anger and bitterness takes hold of me.

“D! I know you’re in there,” I yell at the sickly beige door, my fist never ceasing its thumping, “C’mon, D, you don’t wanna fuck her again…”

The door swings open and David is standing there holding a towel in front of him. I see Lexi over his shoulder low in the hot tub. He’d obviously told her to stay put. “Jon! What the fuck are you doing here?!” He yells and pushes me back when I try to force myself into the room.

“What am I doing here? I could ask you the same,” I yell, stumbling backward into the wall behind me, “Did you have this all planned, or something? Did that fucking bitch find out about James? Or did she set the whole fucking thing up? For what? To ruin me?  Well, she’ll take you down with me.”

Someone yells down the hallway “Shut the fuck up or I’m calling management!” and a door slams.

“You know damn well she didn’t!” He snaps back, eyes darkening and his voice taking on a firm tone I knew all too well. “She’s here for her friend’s bachelorette vacation if you must know. Now you need to go, Jon. Just go.”

“No...please D,” I grasp in vain at his arm, desperation clawing at me all of a sudden as I see my life being torn into shreds, “I need you. Please, baby. Don’t...don’t send me away.”

Lexi’s smooth nude body appears at David’s side, wrapping her arm around his waist. “If you two need to talk--”

“No, we don’t,” David cut off. “Jon is gonna go back to...wherever he’s staying, sober up and go back to Jersey in the morning. Aren’t you, Johnny?”

“The fuck I will,” I spit back at him, “You don’t get to boss me around, fucker! I OWN YOU! You’d be nothing...hear me? Nothing...without me.”  

I didn’t care how loud I was being, or the tears coursing down my cheeks, I was spinning out of control and did the only other thing that came to mind.  My fist was flying through the air before I even realized what was happening, but it’s checked easily, coming to a sudden stop that I feel all the way up to my shoulder.  

“KNEEL!” My knees buckle and I drop to the floor at David’s feet, the bottle rolling from my hand. “You’re wrong, Jon. I own you,” David says coolly. “You would be nobody without us and yet you’ve been selfish and manipulative all 30 years. Yet I can bring you to your knees with one word. The only fucker here is you. You keeping secrets and lying to us, putting our reputation on the line. I’ll only tell you this one more time. Go...home.”

With that, I glance up to see David walking away. Lexi looks down her nose at me and smirks, closing the door in my face and locking it. The elevator pings a short ways down and three arms security guards exit, striding towards me and I hear David’s crying from inside the suite.

I feel none-too-gentle hands haul me to my feet and start to ask questions. I’m numb. Numb with grief and shame and heartache. I can only nod or shake my head as two of them escort me to the elevator and, presumably, the third to pack up my belongings. 

Ha! Joke’s on him, I never even unpacked. I watch the steel doors close and fight off the complete body shudder I feel go through me at the finality of that.

I’m roughly thrown into a sparse room and the door locked from the outside.  I pace the four walls as the past 36 hours play in my mind’s eye. I feel a wave of nausea wash over me and bang on the door to get someone’s attention, visually searching for a waste bin or similar.

The food, booze and bile were coming too quickly and I turn to the closest corner as my stomach emptied itself over the floor tiles. I groan and weep as I clutch my stomach through the foul retches and fall to my knees beside my mess, curling into a ball as exhaustion and the effects of the copious amounts of alcohol finally takes its toll. 

Absolute loneliness embraces me like an old friend, but now there is no one to turn to...no suite to sneak into and no warm bed to crawl into. Richie, then David, float through my mind before unconsciousness pulls me under.   
  



	9. Chapter 9

***~*Jon - 3rd POV*~***

Jon sifted his way through the crowd to the bar. He was stopped multiple times by hands roaming his body, men calling out for a good time and sugar daddies showing off their goods.

"Hey there, lover boy," a voice called as he passed the bar. "You looking for some fun?"

"Maybe," Jon replied sizing up the balding guy who had placed his palm in the center of his chest, "What are you offering?"

The man gave him a wide, dazzling smile and pulled out a baggie of white pills with smaller bundles of cocaine. "Only the finest X and rock in Atlantic City, baby."

"What's your price?" Jon moved a little closer, running his hand up the arm planted on his chest and offering his best smile.

"300 a gram. Top shelf from Columbia," he replied, his eyes roaming over Jon, "I'll even give you a freebie for that sweet ass of yours and a purchase."

Jon ran his tongue over his teeth slowly as he considered the offer. With a bite of his bottom lip, he gripped the man's wrist and nodded toward the bathroom. The nameless man closed in behind him and Jon could feel the heat coming off him and his bulge brushing his ass cheeks as they walked.

Grunts and groans emanated from the bathroom stalls. The smell of sex, sweat, and drugs hung in the air like humidity after a summer shower. Men lined up along the counter to snort the fine white powder or else blow another for a fix.

His savior pushed him through to the smallest stall. He locked the door and asked Jon, "First things first. How much you want?"

"Enough to make me forget, handsome," Jon murmured, the itch taking hold under his skin at the promise of almost total oblivion for at least a few hours anyway.

His companion took a fresh baggie from his jacket and placed 5 grams and 10 pills inside. He smiled and held it up for Jon to see. Jon took out his cash and counted out 2000 dollars, folded it and handed the money over to the man.

"As promised," the man said and set up a line for each of them. He took one then stepped aside for Jon, unbuckling his belt and massaging himself.

Jon licked his lips and bent over the cistern as the unnamed guy quickly dispensed with his jeans. He inhaled the powder at the same time as he was being impaled by the dealer. The heady rush of coke hit him hard and numbed the pain, mental and physical, of being fucked by a complete stranger. It wasn't the first time since leaving David in the arms of his ex-wife and it probably wouldn't be the last.

David...

He was the one that had sheltered him from the aftermath of Richie's departure. He was supposed to love him, no matter what but he was cast out as soon as the first sign of trouble had surfaced.

David's face swam behind his eyelids, followed by Richie. Both looked back at him first with love then disgust, echoing the words 'betrayal of trust' and 'suppose to be my brother' before fading into a memory.

That's how he saw himself now...with disgust. He'd morphed into the person the paparazzi had portrayed him to be. A drug-fucked faggot.

Jon had let himself go in the past month because he couldn't find the reason to care any longer. His beard and hair were scruffy. Hell, he only washed his hair when he remembered to, which was about the same frequency in which he had showers these days.

It didn't worry the strangers he'd brought home or gone home with; his smile drew them in but it was his ass they ultimately wanted...and he was happy to oblige. And the only thing Jon ultimately wanted was the total oblivion that the drugs and the mindless sex afforded him.

"That's it, you dirty little slut," the man groaned, "Tighten that fucking ass up."

Jon did as he was told, all the while praying that it would soon be over. He made all the right noises and did all the right moves, but his mind was preoccupied with the thought of his next hit and the underlying memories of his former flames.

Within moments he felt the hot pulse of his companion's climax fill his ass. Jon collapsed against the toilet seat as the dealer buckled himself up and left with a cursory, "Thanks for the fuck."

The pounding house music made his head pulsate and tears spilled down his cheeks. "Oh shit...sorry...hey...uh...you okay, man?" Another stranger's voice came from the door.

"Yeah...yeah," Jon mumbled and stood, pulling his jeans back up, "Nothing a good shot to the head wouldn't fix." He brushed past the intruder and headed back out to the throng of people, hoping to lose himself completely.

Making his way back to the bar oblivious to the stares and whispers of others talking to the guy who just fucked him, he pushed through and bought a drink. He took a few sips of his Jack and coke and fished out one of the pills, chasing it down with another swallow of Jack.

"Jon? That you?" Jon glanced over to see one of the more well-known dealers, Liam and gave him a small nod. "Man it's been a while. How you been?"

"Life is just peachy-keen," Jon dead-panned and raised his glass to no-one, "How'd you know it was me?" He avoided looking at yet another face from the past.

"How could I not?" Liam simply replied. "You still a thing with Richie? Surprised you're not over at the Palace for his show."

Jon's stomach lurched at Richie's name. He tilted his glass and emptied it in one go. Hissing as it burned it's way down, he shook his head, "Can't say it's good to see you..." He started to turn and walk away when he was grabbed by the arm.

"You should go see him," Liam continued, "He's touring with this badass guitar chick. Forgot her name. Came from there after helping ol' Ricardo out."

"Now why would I wanna do that?" Jon sneered, "He's moved on...obviously. An' there's plenty more fish in the sea." he waved his hands around the room.

"Could be a band reunion," Liam replied, "David's there too."

"Somehow, I don't think I'd be welcomed with open arms," Jon turned back to the bar and indicated for another drink, flashing the bartender one of his killer smiles. He slipped the bartender some cash, deliberately lingering his fingers on the note as he took it. Jon winked and nodded.

He groaned when he turned back to overlook the dancefloor and saw that Liam was still there. Fucker was killing his buzz. He tried to ignore him as the lights mixed and swirled around him, the colors becoming more and more intense as the drugs coursed through his system, topped up liberally with his friend Jack. He made eye contact with a few people, flirting outrageously with one cute brunette who made his way over and pulled Jon in for a kiss.

"Well hello, Daddy," the brunette greeted. "You wanna have some fun tonight?"

"I need to get outta here though," Jon licked his lips, tasting the other on them, "You up for that?"

"Let's go, baby."

Jon downed his drink and absently put it on the bar behind him as he was dragged off toward the entrance, leaving Liam watching in shock and another angry looking man following the couple close behind.

***~*David - 3rd POV*~***

David downed his second beer and dropped his head back on his chair. He'd spent the better part of a month processing all that happened in St Barth and, after parting ways with Lexi, closed himself away in his office with a piano for company.

Two of his buddies had taken it upon themselves to pull their friend out of isolation, packing up and driving to Atlantic City for the weekend. It wasn't until they were checked in and settled in their hotel suite that the real surprise was dropped on David.

Tickets to Richie and Orianthi's concert at the Palace.

He didn't want this right now but his friends were insistent. The seats were VIP and they were allowed in for the sound check. Soon as Richie locked eyes with David, neither could move nor breathe.

Richie took to the mic and David went for the tequila bar to ease the anxiety that crept in. After dropping the band mid-tour, the feelings towards his old bandmate were tainted red and thoughts of Richie led to thoughts of Jon.

Sure he felt Jon had betrayed the band's trust with the James situation but...

_No buts, Rashbaum! He deserved it._

But there was a side of David that was conflicted. He'd tried to call Jon a few times only to be met with voicemail. He never got a callback.

_Did soundchecks always last this long?_ David thought to himself, checking and rechecking his watch every five minutes.

"You're the last person I expected to see here," Richie's voice came floating over his shoulder. _When had they stopped playing?_

"Blame it on tweedle dee and tweedle dum," David replied coldly, gesturing to his friends. "It wasn't my choice."

"I don't want trouble tonight, man," Richie said, accepting a beer from the bartender.

David let out a breathy chuckle. "You know damn well I ain't the one to cause trouble. That's you and..." He couldn't even bring himself to speak Jon's name.

Richie inhaled sharply, "Yeah, well...," he didn't know what to say. "How is he?" he asked instead.

"No idea," David admitted, "I haven't...been able to contact him for a month. Left voicemails but the fucker won't call me back."

"After you got outed?" Richie offered, "It was plastered all over the place and I had paps following my every move. At least Jonny and I were discreet."

"Keep your voice down, will ya?" David snapped. "My buddies were lucky enough to not see it...and for your information, Sambora, Jon and I were discreet, for the most part."

"Phht, what do they live in a cave or something?" Richie scoffed. "So being filmed feeding each other and running away holding hands...that's discreet, is it?"

David rolled his eyes. "Did you just come over here to dissect everything I did wrong with Jon?" He crossed his arms over his chest and his jaw twitched in annoyance.

"Like you never did the same, sitting up on your high horse," Richie spat back. "You always wanted him but he was with me, wasn't he?"

"You changed that quickly," David sneered. "A few spanks around the bedroom and he forgot all about you."

"Fuck you!" Richie spat back angrily.

"Too late..."

Richie paused for a few calming breaths, he didn't want to fight, he was supposed to be getting ready for the show. He sipped from his beer and dropped his volume before continuing, "So why haven't you been able to get in contact with him?"

David glanced around at the people watching them and bit his tongue. "Can we talk in private?"

"Er...yeah. Follow me," Richie said. He came to a sudden stop when his phone buzzed. He fished it out of his back pocket and opened the screen. "Fuck!" Richie exclaimed as he read the text from Liam, his dealer whom he'd just seen earlier that evening.

_Just saw Jonny at the club. High as fuck. Looks like shit. Needs a shower. Just left with someone._

"What? What is it?" David demanded.

"Jon. He's here in AC," Richie replied.

David grabbed Richie's phone and read the full text. "High as fuck? Who'd he leave with??"

"You know as much as I do," Richie snarled and yanked his phone from David's grip. He shot back a reply,  _What makes you think he was high? Jonny doesn't do that shit._

_I sell the shit. Know one when I see it. X or rock_

"Richie! Half hour till show time..." Denise yelled from the front of the stage, waving her arm to get his attention.

"Fuck, I gotta go, man," Richie sighed, "Got a show..."

David gaped at Richie. "You serious? What about Jon?"

"Look! We don't know who he's with or where he's gone, right?" Richie rounded back on David, frustrated and worried but pragmatic also, "We can't DO anything until he surfaces again. Keep trying him on your phone. I'll let you know if I hear anything. Enjoy the show."

"I never should have told him to leave," David murmured, shaking his head and eyes staring off into space. "I was just so angry about Ja-...fuck, Jonny."

"Angry about what?" Richie looked at his ex-bandmate. "Walk with me." He led the way toward backstage as they talked.

David tried to form the words. "James and...the photos..."

"Who the fuck is James?" Richie scratched at his memory.

"Tour security. Started as a backline crew member. He...he had pictures, videos...of you and Jon. Blackmailed Jon for money first then the security job," David answered, wracking his brain for the details. "Jon gave in, tryna protect you, and got fucked by the bastard when he refused to hand over more money. He wanted more and worked security on Jon's yacht. Sent the photos of me and him to the paps."

"So where the fuck was Matty in all of this? He's usually Jonny's guard dog," Richie said.

David shook his head. "Nowhere. Jon never told him. Or us. I got so angry that he betrayed the band like that, letting someone twisted and evil in the fold...fuck..." He scrubbed his face and mentally stuck a boot up his own ass.

"So, you what? Called him a fucking idiot and told him to get out?" Richie stopped and gaped at the blonde in astonishment, "Way to work on his insecurities, man."

"I...Kinda...Told him I had to think over whether to resign from the band and how I never wanted another relationship," David confessed, his face flushed and sweating from anxiety. "Didn't help that Lexi contacted me the next morning..."

"What the?!"

"He...fuck...he ended up at the same hotel Lexi was staying at once he left my place."

"There's something you're not telling me. Spit it out," Richie was starting to get angry again.

David inhaled and exhaled a few time to keep his emotions in check. "I was there with Lexi. We...we were in the hot tub and...and Jon heard us. He was drunk...drunkest I've seen him in years."

"He stormed over to the room screaming like a lunatic and...I couldn't handle seeing him. I did nothing but cry and vent the rest of the night to Lexi," he said, "Tried calling him that night with no answer. I wanted to apologize and talk to him. He had checked out the next morning. Haven't seen or heard from him since and it's been killing me."

"Jesus Christ...what a mess," Richie mumbled, scrubbing his hand over his face. "Listen! I can't cancel the show now, you know that. Stay back here, call Matty. Tell him. Everything. He'll get the ball rolling to find this James character and finding Jonny. Keep trying Jon. Here's my phone, use that too." He turned to walk out the door to the side of the stage, but turned back on his heels to face David and spat, "If anything...ANYTHING...happens to him, I'm holding you personally responsible. You got that, Rashbaum?"

"Just go play your show," David snapped back, sliding down the concrete wall to the cold tile floor. He scrolled through the numbers in his phone and pressed Call on Matt's name.

The verbal lashing he'd got from Sambora was nothing compared to Jon's little brother. "Foolish", "Arrogant bastard", and "If my brother dies because of you..." were just a few of Matt's choice words. The rest of the conversation left David shaking in both shame and anger.


End file.
